Friday, February 29, 2008

My Secret Life

It's 4:20 (hehe, 420) on Friday afternoon and I'm at work, pretending to be productive. In reality, I've been perusing "cotton area rugs" on Overstock for hours. Above is the frontrunner right now.

Alternatively, I've been trying to create a floor on FLOR.com. You can buy carpet tiles and make your own rug! It's much harder than one would think--especially when you have no skillz, like me. But this is the idea:
This is the most exciting thing I've got going on right now. Lord have mercy the day needs to end soon. Are you feeling sorry for me yet???

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Most Important Thing About Japan? The Toilet Situation

Okay, so you guys know I went to Japan, that I'm back, and that I haven't posted anything at all about it.

My valid excuse is that once I returned I was swirled into a trial-frenzy by my boss and haven't had the chance to come up for air. The reality is that the trial-frenzy was over by Friday and I still haven't even organized my photos yet. Lazy. Ass.

The one thing that I have been dying to discuss in this forum where I can discuss whatever I want is the Japanese Toilet Situation.

The Japanese Toilet Situation ("JTS") is something I have brought up to most people who have inquired about my trip. These well-meaning individuals probably expect that I will wax poetic about the food, the countryside, the crazy-efficient Japanese people, but no. No, not me. I want to talk about toilets.

There are very few "normal" toilets in Japan, "normal" being the typical toilet in the U.S.
The JTS, and the reason why it facsinated me for the duration of the trip, was this. One bathroom, be it in a rest stop or in a fancy hotel, would have both of the following types of Toilets:



"Hole in the ground that Whitey doesn't quite know how to use," is how I describe this toilet. I had to ask Truman's Taiwanese cousin which way one was supposed to face when using this contraption. Mind you no one, not even those familiar with the JTS, wanted to use it.

The other JTS option is just as befuddling:


It's appropriately called a "shower toilet." Look at all of the buttons! What are they for? Let's take a closer look.


There are so many options!! You can have your back or your front washed. This was very confusing to me until I saw a button like the one above, which clearly shows a woman for the "front wash." You can also chose the water temperature, pressure, and duration. Some also have a blow dry option as well as nice fake flushing noises on demand for those times when you wish you were alone in that public restroom.

Someone in America needs to get working on getting this shit here. It's awesome! (Pun intended.)

Next topic: the Toilet Paper Situation ("TPS"). Better check it before you wreck it!