she's not a girl who misses much

American Apparel Fails

2010-06-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

I saw a banner ad with the picture below today and almost spit out my coffee.

What the holy hell is that thing? A mesh genie suit? In what kind of circumstance would one want to don mesh pants? And why is the ad putting the poor girl in granny panties and still leaving her essentially topless? I want to know someone who actually plans to buy this thing. Or better yet, I want to see someone wear it in public. Maybe we should make American Apparel's founder, Dov Charney wear it. This is Dov:

Ok yeah I take that back. Sorry for the disturbing imagery. But I think we now all understand how "clothing" like that gets made. By douches like him.

The Man Cold

2010-06-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

Come on, tell me that this isn't accurate.

You Know How I Know That I'm Old?

2010-06-10T15:21:00.001-07:00

Well, number one I'm old because what was fashionable when I was in high school (flannel, Doc Martens, baby doll dresses) are now back in fashion. Which is really whack, considering I didn't keep any of that stuff. I wonder if the Limited will become popular again?

But even worse than that, when I told the other women in my office how excited I was that Doc Martens are back, they didn't know what I was talking about. As in "What are Doc Martens?"

What a travesty. Doc Martens are, as I patiently explained, the shit. Oh the poor youth!

This Just In: Islands Float

2010-04-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

The gentleman in the video below, who was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives by the people of Atlanta, apparently believes that if too many people are on the island of Guam that it will capsize. Yes, capsize. As in Guam is apparently just floating on top of the ocean and, you know, if all the inhabitants run to the West side at one time the island will flip over. What does Hank think the bottom of an island looks like, I wonder?

In all seriousness--we elect these people to make draft laws and create policy for the most powerful country in the world? Its terrifying the bona fide idiots that have been given serious power. I'm thinking maybe we need to implement some kind of i.q. test to avoid letting people Like Mr. Hank Johnson and George Bush get elected to office.

No Shame for LA Lawyers

2010-03-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

I have a small car. A really small car. My little VW Rabbit can literally fit in almost any spot. She's compact in every way. So I usually do park in "compact" spots if possible, as that is the appropriate size spot for my vehicle.

Yesterday I drove to downtown LA for a court appearance and parked in a nearby parking garage. I parked on an end, up against the far line of my spot, and was initially satisfied that I had more than enough space.

Before I could even get out of my car, a huge ass SUV parks in the spot next to me. The *compact* spot next to me.

Dude gets out and starts putting on his suit jacket, same as me. Says good morning, as do I. Then I can't help myself. I say "That sure is a big compact vehicle." He laughs. He tells me that "If I park anywhere else in this garage I get dinged. I always get dinged. So I park here instead." Of course, this makes absolutely no sense, so I respond "Maybe your car gets hit because you park it in too small a spot." Dude has nothing to say to this because, you know, it makes sense. So instead he says: "You're trying to shame me! But I'm a lawyer, as are you, correct?" He goes on to tell me that lawyers have no shame, that trying to shame him is a waste of time, and that he in particular never is shamed. WOW. And he tells me this with a smile on his face, almost like a badge of honor.

The only thing I could choke out was "Well I must be in the wrong profession because its inhuman to never feel shame and I never intend to be like you."

The gall of people just amazes me. He was proud of himself. And you know what, I couldn't help it when I dinged his car. Bastard parked too close.

WTF

2010-03-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

So I am not big into the Oscars, but I did have them on in the background last night while making dinner. I didn't see half of the movies nominated, including The Hurt Locker. TL saw it and said it was pretty good, I'm not really into that kind of movie. Didn't seem like there were very many laugh-my-ass-off moments.

So when they were presenting for Best Director I didn't pay much attention because I didn't see most of the movies (I was kind of rooting for Quentin Tarantino because I did love Inglorious Basterds, but no biggie). I kinda noticed that "the woman," Kathryn Bigelow won. I refer to her as thus since the only things we know about her are (1) she's a woman that directed, gasp, a war movie, and (2) she was married to Jim Cameron. So good for her, finally a woman won. Apparently it was the first time in Academy history. Not really a surprise since Hollywood is such a male dominated industry.

But when she was done giving her acceptance speech, that's when my ears piqued up. What song did I hear? Turned up the volume and.......that old classic "I Am Woman." That crap stopped me dead in my tracks. Are they *really* playing an old '70s "feminist" song right now? Wow.

Yup. They just reduced Ms. Bigelow's win into a cheesy ridiculous moment. I felt so sorry for the woman. Check it out here if you missed it, the Oscar orchestra is playing the Helen Reddy classic at the conclusion of her speech.

A Woman's Response

2010-02-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

I didn't see much of the super bowl (I even missed The Who! Boo!) but I did see this stupid Dodge commercial. The point of the commercial is that grown men need to be rewarded for being....grownups. Its freaking ridiculous. Wow, you should really get a medal for being civil to my mother. Lord have mercy did this commercial annoy the crap out of me.

Today I was pleased to see a woman's response to the ad. It's brilliant.

I'll Never Eat Octopus Again

2010-02-09T19:48:00.000-08:00

Wow. This octopus uses a coconut shell as a tool, he carries it around and uses it to hide. I had no idea octopuses (how do you pluralize that, octopi?) were so smart! I feel so bad now that I've eaten them. I'm impressed.

My New Religion

2010-02-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

Oh. My. God. You guys, I love Cracker Barrel. It's my favorite place to go in Georgia (other than my mama's house!) for food when I'm home visiting Augusta. The "vegetable plate," a delicious choice that makes you feel good for ordering it but in reality is not even remotely healthy, is my favorite. On my typical "vegetable plate" I get macaroni and cheese, hash brown casserole, green beans--one of the only actual vegetables on the list, but cooked with like, lard and bacon, and maybe fried okra or fried apples. Yes, the remainder of vegetable options are fried. This is PRECISELY why I love the Cracker Barrel. That and the biscuits and sweet tea.

But dude, this guy took it to another level. I have never even considered getting a Cracker Barrel tattoo. Does this mean I'm not a real fan? I DID write to corporate and ask them to open a branch in Southern California, I DID inquire as to why they've never come further west than Arizona, but I DID NOT tattoo mashed potatoes, collard greens, and...is that ham or baked beans, I'm not sure...on my belly. Or wait, it is meatloaf?

The best part is the rocking chair in like a halo of light at the top. Its like the equivalent of Jesus or something. How wrong is it that I'm now jonesin' for some fried okra and biscuits?

Merry Christmas!!!

2009-12-22T17:11:00.000-08:00

A very special Merry Christmas from a Japanese beatboxer. Yeah, I didn't know what that was either, but it's pretty cool--he does at least three Christmas songs--and he looks really funny in his santa hat.

Thursday Here I Come!

2009-11-24T10:04:00.001-08:00

I'm consumed with Thanksgiving already. This half week of work is a veritable hell. The evaporated milk and cake flour is already sitting on my counter, boss. I'm thinking of meyer lemon cake, and cranberry sauce, and whether my new pumpkin pie recipe will work without following Martha Stewart's fifteen step recipe for a perfect pie crust. I am not thinking of drafting a case management statement or discovery. Judging by my silent phone, no one else is thinking of work either.

I'm already planning how many times I have to work out (answer: every day) in order to eat my fill on Thanksgiving. Thinking about what time I'll start my pie on Thursday morning (answer: shoot for the butt crack of dawn and actually deliver late morning). Willing my bread cubes to go stale for a tasty, sourdough stuffing.

I'm even already freaking out about Christmas gifts.

And don't get me started on Christmas cookies.............

I think I've become my mama.

Women in Combat

2009-11-06T13:26:00.000-08:00

It's a little bit ironic that when a crazy shooting rampage happened on a U.S. military base the one person that was able to take down the assailant was a civilian female cop. She was actually a former soldier in the Army.

Poor little defenseless women. Yes military, now I see why you forbid women from fighting for their country. Crazy men, sure. Women, not so much.

Captain Tightpants Rides Again

2009-10-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

For those Firefly lovers out there, Captain Mal got back into his tightpants (for those of you not in the know, and whoever you are, go watch Firefly NOW, Captain Mal's nickname around the internet is "Captain Tightpants") last night on whatever new show he's on. (Its called Castle but I must confess I've never seen it).

I love the reference to the fact that he wore that costume 5 years ago--you know, when the asshats as Fox canceled the show.

I hear the episode was full of Firefly references. Am I going to be required to watch a cop procedural show just to get my tightpants fix?

Derelicte!

2009-10-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

Breaking News: Lady GaGa is the new face of Mugatu.

"Come Gaga, let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique."

Down With the Pigs!

2009-10-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

The City of LA just finished a new super-whiz-bang police station for the illustrious LAPD.

City thought it would be nice to install $500,000 of sculptures around the new station. Clearly no one reviewed what the artist was planning on installing.

Big animal torsos decorate the exterior areas around the new police station. A good example is the one above, which definitely looks like a headless pig on its side.

Pigs outside the police station. No wonder Police Chief Bratton isn't happy.

Normally I would be appalled at the $500,000 wasted on what's pretty hideous art, but the fact that they're big ugly useless pigs outside the police station makes it into a great ironic statement about the LA police.

But Does it Smell?

2009-10-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

Yup, that's a moose poop necklace.

This site is absolutely chock full of interesting things. That you can buy. Hurray for weird handmade stuff!

I Pity the Fool!

2009-09-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when Emily messes around on the internet late on Friday night. End up reading about Mr. T on Wikipedia and finding crazy pictures like this one.

Did you know that he started his gold-chain-wearing while working as a bouncer? Apparently he wore whatever jewelry was left in the club by its patrons. That way they could come back and get it off Mr. T from the entrance and not have to even re-enter the club, and it became his trademark.

The two of them look so cute together. I mean honestly, who DOESN'T love Mr. T?

Check this out!

2009-08-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

Time Lapse Test: Station Fire from Eric Spiegelman on Vimeo.

This video is amazing. I could see the smoke cloud from Santa Monica but this video really does the fire justice. The power of nature is astonishing.

This is why I love Boing Boing

2009-08-25T15:54:00.001-07:00

One website that I follow quite regularly is Boing Boing.

Boing Boing covers all kinds of amazing things. Some stuff they cover, like new technology fads, steampunk, and ukulele videos, are not really my bag (baby), but there's always something new and interesting on their site each day.

I like this site for their coverage of weird science fiction, cool gadgets, old patents for interesting things like a device to inject ice cream into bananas, and even civil rights issues.

For example, today Boing Boing had a link to a Smithsonian story about micronations. Check this out, man. It's awesome. I totally intend to create my own little micro-nation within the People's Republic of Santa Monica. Our borders will consist of the alley, the walkway, and the walls I share with my neighbors, but dammit it will be a separate nation! Our currency will be cans of root beer (a precious commodity) and our motto will be "Suck it, Santa Monica!" I suspect we will still receive parking tickets, however, as the City may not be privy to our secession. If it leads to an "international" incident I'll let you know.

The Sun Tan

2009-08-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

I remember at summer camp one year being made fun of by some other campers for having a "farmer's tan." I had tan lines on my arms from wearing short sleeves and on my legs from shorts. Until those kids made fun of me, I had never been aware that a "proper" tan was devoid of lines--that is unless they came from a swimsuit (lets ignore the fake bake orange people running around these days).

Ever since then I've always been conscious of my farmer's tan. I've never had what most consider a proper tan, except in my early years when the entire summer was spent at the pool. These days If I get a tan its from hiking or biking or washing the car, so likely there lines on my feet from shoe straps, lines on my arms, and the like. I'm way past the point of caring. I'm currently sporting a wicked farmer's tan.

But the revelation I had last night, and I'm sure to most of you this is nothing new, is that the tan is a total status thing. Those kids, whether they knew it or not, where making fun of my farmer's tan, because I had not acquired it properly, i.e. laying out in the sun and doing absolutely nothing but tanning. A farmer's tan is theoretically not as good as a proper tan because it was acquired while working or actually doing something. The value is placed on having the ability to do nothing but literally lie on your ass and bake.

That being said, in many other cultures the importance is on staying as white as humanly possible. The tan is associated with work. Pristine porcelain white skin is associated with privilege and being able to stay out of the sun. Darker skin=lower class. Ever see those Asian ladies driving on the road wearing welder-type masks to keep the sun off their faces? But generally speaking in America the tan is something that is sought in the summer, even with the risks associated with it these days.

So I say if you don't have some kind of farmer's tan in the summer, you got too damn much time on your hands. Get out there and do something, you lazy rich bastard.

The Aftermath

2009-08-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well somebody partied a little to hard on their birthday and totally crashed on the couch.

ODed on frosty paws and kettle corn. Oh the crazy life of the Boo Boo Bear.

Top Ten Heathers Quotes. How Very.

2009-08-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

1. Heather Chandler: Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? (Not-so-fun-fact: the actress that uttered this line died of a brain tumor in the early aughts).

2. Heather Chandler: "What's your damage?"

3. Veronica: "Oh come on! Mineral water has come a long way."

J.D.: "But this is Ohio. If you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress."

4. Heather Chandler: "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?"

5. Cop: "The quarterback buggering the linebacker. What a waste! Oh the humanity!"

6. Veronica: "Heather why can't you just be a friend? Why are you such a megabitch?"

Heather Duke: "Because I can be."

7. Veronica: "Heather says real life sucks losers dry. If you wanna fuck with the eagles, you gotta learn to fly. I said, 'so you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?' She said yes. I said 'you're beautiful.'"

8. Great pate but I gotta motor if I want to be ready for this funeral.

9. Kirk: "Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule?"

J.D.: :"Well they seem to have an open door policy for assholes though, don't they?"

10. Heather Chandler: "You stupid fuck."

Veronica: "You goddamn bitch."

Heather: "You were nothing before you met me. You were playing barbies with Betty Finn. You were a bluebird. You were a brownie. You were a girl scout cookie. I got you into a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke!"

Veronica: "Lick it up baby. Lick. It. Up."

Heather: "Monday morning your history. I'll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg's gonna let you play their reindeer games."**

**I didn't even have to look this one up. Its been memorized and embedded in my mind from the tender age of 12. In 1990, they were the awesomest lines I had ever heard.

Another Reason Why I Love The Japanese

2009-08-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

I bought a plastic pitcher from the Japanese market on Sunday. The reason for this purchase is primarily the fact that any glass pitcher in our home lasts, on average, 2 days before breaking. I think we had one from Target that we broke the day we got it.

So I saw this little number for a good price and with a cute little pink cap, so I snatched it up without a careful examination. Once I got it home and washed it, though, I realized the special surprise that we got along with a functional pitcher.

Cute little sayings are written into the plastic on the side of the pitcher. I had an awful time trying to get you a good photo of what it says.

Just in case you can't clearly read what is says above, the pitcher reads: "The shining sun is very dazzling to me. When I lied on an open verandah and closed my eyes, wind sang gentle songs to me."

How awesome is that? And what the hell does it mean? According to the illustrious Mr. T, this is a perfect example of Japanese products, wherein they provide you not only with a pitcher, but with calming and peaceful says on the side for you to peruse while drinking your iced tea. I think it's hilarious.

And then when you finally get to the bottom of the pitcher, it includes this gem (which I had an even harder time getting a good photo of).

It reads: "It seems that I will be able to have a further comfortable summer."

But only because I drank that fabulous iced tea out of that fabulous Japanese pitcher! Arigato!

P.S. I just realized this is not far from the crazy ramblings that come out of Bai Ling, international acting superstar. Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps we will soon learn of her new joint venture with plastic company marine!

Retraction! Retraction!

2009-07-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

I hereby take back everything I ever said about Christian Bale being the abslute (its a typo but I'm keeping it) hotness.

Apparently he's rocking the dead-man-walking look for a new movie, The Fighter.

His chameleon-like ways have enabled him to evade me in Santa Monica for years now. We live in the same city, Christian. How come I haven't seen you flipping out on someone yet?

The Power of Words

2009-07-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

The LA Times posted a short piece last week about a federal judge in LA issuing a protective order and closing a trial dealing with the prison murder of Jewish Defense League ("JDL") member Earl Krugel. The article caught my eye as judges do not normally close trials to the extent that this judge did--apparently it was because Krugel was killed by a member of some skinhead prison gang that is very dangerous. But my point here is not legal.

The JDL is a terrorist organization, plain and simple. Not so active these days, but in the 1980s nd 1990s the JDL and its members, including Mr. Krugel, were responsible for planting bombs on American soil. Specifically, mosques and business offices of Arab Americans and Muslim Americans.

Now how do you imagine that the LA Times described Mr. Krugel, who was in prison for plotting two bombings in America--one on a mosque in LA and one at a Arab American politician's office? As a terrorist? A criminal? A subversive? A thug?

The LA Times referred to him as an activist.

For the LA Times to even imply that Mr. Krugel's actions were somehow legitimate has he was a "vigorous advocate" is simply bad reporting. Krugel planned and intended to plant bombs on American soil. He planned to kill people while worshiping. He plotted to kill American politicians. How is this not terroristic? If he were an Arab plotting to bomb synagogues, he would have been shipped off to Guantanamo years ago.

Upon examination, this seems to be a pattern with the LA Times. They have been referring to Mr. Krugel as an "activist" in their articles concerning his crimes since at least 2003. Even when he confessed to planning to kill an American congressman.

I'm writing to the LA Times today to find out why they have continued to shy away from the "terrorist" word in favor of the infinitely more respectful "activist."

I guess I thought that planning to bomb Americans was a terrorist act no matter who did it. How silly of me!

Worf's Grandpa Has Got To Be the Worst Klingon Lawyer Ever

2009-07-16T09:50:00.001-07:00

For those of you opposed to geek-related posts, I suggest you move on.

Last night I was watching Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (definitely the best Trek film starring the original cast--yes I have gone against the popular grain here, but it's better than Khan. Khan's a little too campy and there's no Iman as a shapeshifter) and was floored by the trial scene. Worf's grandpa is supposed to be defending Kirk and McCoy in a Klingon trial. Worf must've gotten his cajones from his mom's side.

The trial starts out with the Evil General Chang bombastically proclaiming Kirk responsible for the death of the Klingon Chancellor and claiming that McCoy was negligent in failing to save the Chancellor's life. Worf fails to object to Chang's conclusory statements, his harassment of the witnesses, the introduction of heresay (although it was a statement against interest), and Chang's failure to offer any evidence. He is obviously too busy stroking the fabric of his awesome robe. And wondering where the hell his hairline went.

Of course, the legal rules of procedure may be different on Klingon. But even there I would assume that some type of objection would be permitted, although it is likely that in the Klingon Empire the judge would rule based upon which attorney drew blood first or something equally as violent.

But I digress.

Worf's most egregious omission was his failure to state any kind of defense for McCoy and Kirk. Does he call any witnesses? Make any arguments at all to exonerate his clients? Is it considered weakness to even offer a defense on Klingon?

I need to get my hands on a copy of the Klingon Rules of Civil Procedure. Somehow I doubt they have a meet and confer requirement, unless it involves bat'leths.

I think the combination of the Star Trek-geeking out and the legal-geeking out in this post may have pushed me over the edge of geek and into the realm of dork. And I think I'm okay with that.

Santa Ynez Canyon Trail

2009-07-12T23:41:00.000-07:00

Lately, (I guess just in time for the state to start closing the suckers) I've been trying to get out and enjoy the state parks on the Westside. I've found Topanga State Park to be by far the one with the most trails, the most accessibility, and the least amount of crazy city people.

Look at all of the hikes you can do from Trippet Ranch, the main area of Topanga Park:

Within just a few miles of the ranch you can reach all kinds of different landscapes. We started out on Eagle Spring Fire Road.

Pretty quickly you come to an east-west fork in the road. To the right you'll go to the Pacific Palisades and toward an ocean view. To the left is Eagle Rock and more trails. We went left.

Here's the sign at the fork in the road:

The views are spectacular from the get go.

We didn't stay on Eagle Spring Fire Road too long, but instead turned right on to Santa Ynez trail, which winds its way down toward a waterfall and beautiful canyon.

It starts out as a grassland trail.

But quickly becomes more forested.

Once you get down into the canyon the trail follows a stream.

Awesome conglomerate rocks.

There is a side trail that heads to a waterfall. The end of the waterfall trail is rock climbing up into the waterfall itself.

On the way back we stopped for a snack on a long smooth rock formation that was essentially a huge slab of rock turned on a 45 degree angle. This was carved into the top.

All in all one of my favorite hikes. You can access the trail from Trippet Ranch off Topanga Canyon or from a side street in the Pacific Palisades from the other end. All sorts of weather, climates, and scenery. Out and back from Trippet Ranch to the Palisades is about 4.5 miles. Its about the same to the waterfall and back--there's a split in the trail with a sign.

Circassian Day Of Mourning

2009-05-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

Yeah, two posts today. It's my birthday and I'm goofing off at work. Whatchoo gonna do about it?

But seriously, tomorrow is the Circassian Day of Mourning. The Circassians don't get much press--their neighbors the Chechens and Georgians, and their assorted disputes with Russia are the news of our day.

The Circassians are the native people of the Caucasus, they are warriors, they are mountain people, they are wild and independent and very very proud. (If you've ever met one, you're bound to know it.) They have to be this way because there are few of them left, and they are spread far and wide due to the Russians systematically devastating them for about a hundred years straight during the 1700s and 1800s. Most were forced to migrate to the Middle East or Turkey.

One of my best friends, a Circassian himself, posted this link which I thought was important to share. The text is below:

May 21st is the Day of Mourning for the Circassian people. In 2009, this day will commemorate the 145th anniversary of the forced migration and dispersion of their grandfathers from their homeland and the imperilment of their existence.

The Russian-Caucasian war started in 1763 and lasted for more than 100 years. The Russian Czarist Army outnumbered the national Circassian resistance by more than 20 times!

The impact of the war on Circassians was horrendous. The Russian army aimed to terrorise the Circassians into submission. In addition to employing a lethal combination of numerical superiority and systematic reduction of resistance, a scorched earth policy resulted in wholesale destruction of villages and corps.

The Circassians suffered heavy losses in terms of human life, as much as 800,000 dead, and their country fell into ruin. Many tribes were completely wiped out and others came close to the edge of extinction.

Each stage of [Circassia’s] occupation was followed by the expulsion of the inhabitants of the area … [This resulted] in the elimination of the whole Caucasian nations and wiped out any memory of them … The war was conducted with ruthlessness. Circassian villages were torched by the hundred, crops were wasted. Those who surrendered were resettled in the plains… Pikman (1956,p79)

As early as 1818, Kabarda was at her knees. Four decades of open conflict had demoralised the people and left the land in ruins. By 1818, the number of Kabardians had fallen from 350,000 before the war to a mere 50,000 - in 1810 alone more than 200 villages were burnt in Kabarda.

The Shapsough, who numbered about 300,000 before the war, were almost completely extirpated. All the Ubykhs, numbering about 30,000, chose to immigrate rather than be resettled in the Kuban region. Some Abkhazian clans, like the Sadzians, were expelled wholesale. The Abazas, especially the Shkharawas, were also subjected to mass expulsion.

It was really the first intentional large-scale genocide of the modern times, as well as the model case of the consequent tradition of ethnic cleansing. It was also the largest single genocide of the 19th century. Anssi Kullberg, The Eurasian Politician - October 2003.

In 1864, the Ubykh made the last stand – but they were already doomed. Afterwards, Circassians were given the option of either leaving the high mountains and settle in the plains. Those who refused were given an ultimatum to leave for Ottoman lands or otherwise be considered prisoners of war. Covertly, the Russians pursued a policy of organised and systematic terror, where whole villages were pillaged and then burnt down to the ground, and thousands of people were killed in cold blood. These horrific acts, together with the collusion of the Ottomans resulted in mass exodus.

On May 21, 1864 Grand Duke Mikhail proclaimed the end of the Russian-Caucasian war.

Hundreds of thousands of hungry and disease-ridden Circassians and Abkhazians were herded to seaports wherefrom they were transported to vessels across the Black Sea to Turkish ports.

It is estimated that the number of North Caucasians who left for the Ottoman Empire between 1859 and 1881 to be at two million. Conditions were extremely bad and as many as 20% died of malnutrition and disease. Those who remained in the Caucasus, between 150 – 200 thousands, were compelled to resettle in the northern plains of the Caucasus were they were easier to control.

There are no words to describe the situation of the Mountaineers in those days. Thousands of them died in the roads, thousands of them died due to illness and hunger. The coastal regions were full with people who are dead or on the verge of dying. The babies who are searching for milk in their mother’s cold dead body, mothers who didn’t leave their kids from their laps even they are already dead from cold, and people who are dead while they got closer just to keep warm, are examples of the scenes that were normal in the coasts of the Black Sea. Y. Abramov, ”Caucasian Mountaineers”

Today over 4 million Circassians live outside Homeland in over 40 countries across of the world.

If we don't remember, and keep remembering, things like this, they are bound to happen again and again.

Jesse Ventura FTW!

2009-05-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

I keep trying to deny it, but I think I love Jesse Ventura.

His politics, that is. The hair is an entirely different story. If anything gives me pause about Jesse, it's the hair.

14th Thought Because I Left Out the Most Important One

2009-05-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

14. Are people (passengers on the Black Rock, the 815ers, Dharma, the 316ers) merely test subjects for Jacob and Jacob's enemy?

The initial conversation between the two of them was the most interesting part of the finale. One seems to believe people are bad. One wants to give us a chance to be good. I read one review that likened them to Loki and Bartley from Dogma. I can really see that, actually. Two supernatural, maybe god-like beings debating humanity. Experimenting with humanity.

And per Jacob it only ends once, and all the rest is progress. It sounds like we're talking about redeeming ourselves, humanity, before some end of the world event? Maybe one time we'll get it right?

Totally reminded me of Battlestar Gallactica. Humans and Cylons keep going through the same cycle of creation and destruction. Cycle upon cycle, time after time, the same events occurred. Can humanity change, if given the chance? Is Jacob trying to give us that chance?

13 Thoughts On the Lost Finale

2009-05-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

1. If this new Possessed Locke is the one that had Richard inform the time-traveling Locke to leave the island, get everyone back, and die, then all of this was clearly part of Jacob's enemy's plan.

2. Is Possessed Locke Smokey? Is Jacob's enemy Smokey? Smokey seems to be able to manifest itself as persons that have died on the Island (Christian, Yemi, Boone), is that why Jacob's enemy needed Locke to die and come back to the Island? If so, was Eloise in on it (she's the one who told Jack they had to bring Locke back)?

3. Speaking of Eloise, she was the leader of the Others circa 1977, not Widmore. Richard said there can only be one leader, and he specifically noted he needed to protect his Leader when he knocked Eloise out in the tunnels.

4. Was the ash ring around the cabin designed to keep something in, or to keep something out? Was that Jacob's enemy appearing as Christian to the lostaways?

5. Rose's "Oh heelllll no." and Bernard's "Son of a bitch!" were absolutely priceless.

6. Charlie's Drive Shaft ring.

7. Hurley is the only one Jacob really had a conversation with. Interesting.

8. Jack, jesus christ with the Kate thing!

9. Juliet, jesus christ with the Kate thing!

10. Why didn't Sun insist on seeing Jacob? She was all gung ho and then when they arrived she sat by meekly while Ben, John, and Richard headed in. Does she know more than she's letting on?

11. Sawyer's reaction to losing Juliet at the Swan=Sun's reaction to losing Jin at the Freighter last year. Both sent shivers down my spine. Does this bode well for Juliet?

12. Jacob gave items to Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, and Kate. He seemed to have saved John's life, and he definitely saved Sayid's. Did he give them all something?

13. Jacob was living in the foot of the statute back in the 1800s. Jacob was living in the foot of the statue in 2007. Why did everyone think he was living in a cabin? Was that his enemy in there, fooling them all?

I like it. I love it. I want some more of it.

2009-05-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

I waded into the wilds of Westwood (how good is that alliteration?) last night for the premiere of Star Trek. Even an hour before the show the line was literally halfway around the block. As Westwood is the home of UCLA, it was an interesting mix of straight-up Trekkers, college nerds, and people desperate to prove that they aren't really into Star Trek, even though they were waiting in line with dorks like me. Homeless men even mocked us with Vulcan hand gestures while we waited. Fun for all.

It was worth the annoyance. What an awesome movie.

The movie had alot of ground to cover since it's introducing many people to its universe for the first time. Uhura had a pretty big role in the movie, partially I'm sure because she is literally the only female that gets more than 2 minutes on screen, and she does a good job with it. She doesn't get to do any ass-kicking, though. Maybe in the sequel they could let her go on an away mission, for God's sake.

The cast was pretty perfect. The dude playing Bones hit it almost too perfectly--his facial expressions were cracking up the whole theater. Chekov's accent is distracting its so over-the-top, but again, it served as comic relief. Surprisingly, there was really quite a bit of comedy to this movie, I laughed out loud many more times than I expected. And it was also kind of sad. But I don't want to spoil anybody.

Of course, and I don't think this is a secret, the movie is a whole new timeline for Kirk 'n' gang, so from here they can really go anywhere. I am sad to tell my Iowan friend that per new timeline, Kirk is no longer born in Riverside, Iowa, although he still does grow up there.

Overall I take my hat off to J.J. Abrams, not just for giving me TV to watch again (thank GOD for LOST and Fringe), but for making a fantastic Star Trek movie. I guarantee I'm going to see it again. In the theater.

I Just Had to....

2009-05-01T17:33:00.000-07:00

Lord have mercy did this make me laugh. So cute.

I had a hard time not stealing my friend's title for this picture: Swine Flu-Patient Zero.

Its Time To Get Excited, People!

2009-04-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

The Spocks have aligned! The time is almost nigh!

Long Black Veil

2009-04-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

On my way home from work yesterday a local radio station (now that I've been forced to surf stations, damn you Indie!) was playing Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison straight through.

First of all, I had never heard it before. What a good record! 25 Minutes to Go, written as I found out later by my favorite childhood author Shel Silverstein (I never knew he wore so many hats? Shel and Kris Kristofferson, for example? Never knew!) is an awesome song. Now that I know who wrote it I can totally see it's in his style. In between the songs you can really tell that Johnny's enjoying his time playing for them just as much as the prisoners are enjoying the show.

But, as usual, I digress. Good god. In the parlance of our times, I think I have ADD. :)

Okay. So what I'm slowly getting to is the song Long Black Veil, which Johnny sang right after 25 Minutes.

I first heard this song on Mike Ness's Cheating at Solitaire album.

Then on a Dave Matthew's album.

Then on The Band's Music from the Big Pink.

I also have a Bob Dylan version I got from somewhere.

So I looked at my i-pod. Turns out I have FIVE different versions of the song. 5.

I checked it out on the god of all information, wiki, and turns out that everybody and his brother has covered this song.

The lyrics are basically the story of a man who dies for a crime he did not commit and the woman who mourns him.

A man is accused of murder. He won't provide an alibi for where he was at the time of the crime because he is having an affair with his friend's wife. So, for her honor, he goes to the gallows and dies for the murder he did not commit. All cuz he didn't want his friend to know his wife and he were cheatin'. The cheatin' wife goes and mourns her lover's death at his grave site at night.

Do they just like the idea of a woman secretly mourning this dude who hid her indiscretions? I can't quite figure out why this song catches the ear of so many artists. I mean, its a good song, but damn! Why no covers of 25 Minutes?

I think I gotta go and read Where the Sidewalk Ends. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out!

A Step In The Right Direction

2009-04-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Horray!

The City of LA is FINALLY implementing water restrictions.

Residents can only water their lawns two days of the week, and even on those two days, watering is restricted to before 9am and after 4pm.

I realize these are not the most restrictive measures, but every bit helps. This is a step in the right direction.

Maybe in just a short 30-50 years from now Los Angeleans will realize they don't need to have big green lawns in the middle of the desert!

Good God Every Single One of Them Is Dirty Filthy Bastard

2009-04-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

So have you heard yet? There's great news! Politicians in Washington DO reach across the isle. Bipartisanship is alive and well!

Of course, they only seem to cooperate when its (1) covert, (2) illegal, and (3) for the purposes of ensuring more and more power for themselves.

I'm referring, in case you haven't heard, to the lovely Congresswoman Harman, from right here in Southern California. One of my good buddies drew my attention to this story.

Basically Harman was approached by two pretty powerful Israeli lobbyists that were in some legal trouble for espionage. They asked for her help with getting the charges either dropped or reduced, and exchange would lobby Nancy Pelosi to give the House Intelligence chair to Harman following the 2006 elections. Harman agreed to help.

It gets even better. This is where the real bipartisan cooperation comes in.

The Justice Department found out what was going on as it was wiretapping (with court approval) these Israelis' calls. They began an investigation of Harman but were stopped by Alberto Gonzales himself. Actually they did more than began an investigation, they concluded that Harman had broken the law. I'm sure your asking yourself (as I did): why would the super-Republican torture and Bush-loving Gonzales be protecting Harman?

Because Harman was on the House Intelligence Committee and the Bush Administration needed her help as the media had just broke a big story concerning FISA.

You know, FISA, the "national security measure" that allows the government to spy on its own citizens without a warrant. Because if you're not a terrorist you shouldn't mind having your calls and emails monitored.

So because the Bush Administration needed some big gun Democrats to back them on the unconstitutional and wholly dispicable FISA, they wanted to let Harman off the hook and make sure she owed them a favor.

I gotta say this is ringing some bells with me. I few years ago I wrote to my lovely Senator, Ms. Dianne Feinstein (unsurprisingly, another big wig Democrat backing FISA), demanding that she vote against FISA as it is repugnant to the true values of American. The email I received in response basically said that she knew intelligence information that we (the public) did not, and that it was in the best interest of the national security of our country that we continue FISA. With congressional oversight, because I guess we need that more than, you know, actual warrants.

I wonder what Feinstein got from Gonzales? Or vice versa?

I Can Dig It

2009-04-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

Touch Me I'm Going To Scream, Part 2

You guys know My Morning Jacket? I had heard of them a few years ago, but I frankly brushed them off as one of those My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy kind of bands. Probably because of the name.

But dude. These guys are good. They got a little Eagles in 'em. A little Floyd. They're a little jam-y, but I dig that kind of music.

Unfortunately I don't know how to embed just audio cuz I'm a techno-idiot that can barely blog, but I did find at least one of their videos that's pretty cool.

And they got this song, Knot Comes Loose, that's beautiful. It's on their 2005 album, Z. I highly recommend checking that shiz out.

I Think He Misspelled "Bunch of Idiots" as "Christian Nation"

2009-04-15T10:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe I just don't get it.

America was founded on the separation of church and state. We all learned the basics in elementary school. Religious prosecution in England. People wanted religious freedom. Came to New England. Puritans. Quakers. And so on and so forth. So yeah, the first Europeans that came here were Christians. This much is true.

When it came to establishing the country of the United States, our wise founding fathers did not want us to have to go through what happened in England. So they came up with the separation of church and state.

Thomas Jefferson himself, drafter of the Declaration of Independence (which I think might qualify him as a founding father) and a contributor to the Constitution and Bill of Rights stated:

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State."

Those "Americans" who believe that this country is for "them," meaning white Christians, are the most repulsive and confused people. These are by and large the same "Americans" who think that all Muslims are terrorists or who think that all Hispanics are illegal aliens. They are bigots hiding behind their religion.

America was founded by Christians for the most part. Most of us are Christians. But we are NOT a Christian country.

How can we (theoretically) point our righteous finger at countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran for religious extremisms with these ya-hoos running around? Doesn't it pretty much make us just as bad as them?

The beauty of this country is that even these ridiculous illustrations of American culture are allowed and tolerated. Again, because of the First Amendment. Jesus these people make me crazy! (Pun intended).

Well Hello There, You Little Minx

2009-04-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you saw guns marketed to women?

And as an accessory no less? They even describe the gun as "cute."

My my how times have changed.

Michael Scott and I Have Something In Common

2009-04-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

And no, its not our love for Pennsylvania.

I was watching a recorded episode of The Office last night. I think it was from a week or two ago. Michael Scott (Steven Carell at his finest) is starting a new business. From home. And is wearing his loungewear--which includes a pair of crocs upon which he spills eggs.

I too wear crocs at home. Yes they are hideous, but absolutely perfect for keeping giving you a little cushion from the floor while providing ventilation. Seriously perfect slipperwear for not-so-cold places. And good for people who spill things in the kitchen alot, like me. And, apparently, Michael.

I'm still contemplating what this says about me. If I start coming up with harebrained ideas I have completely failed to think through or having wild delusions about my worth at work, please stop me before I become the manager of a Scranton paper company.

Happy Easter!!

2009-04-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

All I could think while watching this video is that the dude that created this Rube Goldberg device has wayyyyyy too much time on his hands. Like infinitely too much time. But impressive. Definitely impressive.

I too smashed a bunch of Cadbury creme eggs myself this weekend. Nothing as elaborate as this, of course. Mainly just me and my teeth.

Maybe Because We're on the Coast They Figure We Have All The Water We'll Ever Need?

2009-04-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

My parents live in Georgia. They have extensive water regulations in place there, including when one can water their lawn, wash their cars, that kind of thing. Common sense regulations designed to encourage conservation. Don't water your grass at noon in the summer, for example.

Here in L.A., technically a desert, we have zero water regulations. None. Like, use all the water you want, no rate hike, no penalty, no nothin'.

Consequently, we have yard after yard of unnaturally green lawns and luscious non-native plants like magnolia trees. Its not that people don't have to pay for water, but they obviously don't have to pay enough.

This week the L.A. City Council was presented with a proposal to increase rates for excessive water use. You know--if you fill and re-fill your pool once a month, or if you go crazy on the watering or fountains or something, the rate will increase after you cross a certain threshold. Well the City Council in all of its wisdom totally shot the proposition down.

Disgusting and unbelievable. How entitled are these people? Will we have to drain the entire West before we realize that maybe we should have gone easy on the greenery?

Work it, Girl!

2009-04-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Damn RDJ! Lookin' saucy! You think the trucker behind him was honking at him?

Temescal Canyon Photo Essay

2009-04-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been exploring Topanga State Park, the largest wilderness park contained inside any major city in America.

Temescal Gateway Park is one of the ways to access Topanga and its myriad hiking trails and fire roads. The entrance to Temescal is right off of Sunset, which is probably one of the reasons why the place was so damned crowded.

The entrance to Temescal Gateway Park. Be warned, there is a parking fee.

The park has several trail heads. The ridge/canyon loop is very popular. If you start on the ridge trail all of the elevation is at the beginning of the hike. We took the canyon trail first, past the waterfall and then back on the ridge.

Wildflowers were in abundance this weekend. Just a week ago in the Pacific Palisades we saw almost none.

Temescal park has several outbuildings, including a general store, a conference center, and some seemingly abandoned buildings along the canyon trail.

Lots of lovely conglomerate rocks to gaze at along the way.

The waterfall is about a mile up the canyon trail. Right after the waterfall the hike gets HARD. Switchback after switchback, up up up! Thought I was gonna die, but I made it.

This is the payoff. Check out that view.

And this one. Amazing.

Thank god for trail markers.

A bevy of yellow beauty.

This was one of the easier parts of the downhill hike. My toes were totally shoved into the toes of my boots the last half hour.

And purple flowers too!

This one was my favorite flower. She was all by herself on the side of the trail. Big and bright!

Overall great hike if you can stand to be hiking with plenty of other people. Short but plenty of different things to see and if you choose not to do the loop you can keep heading out the canyon trail to a place called "Skull Rock," which I most certainly plan on checking out next time.

Go Girl Scouts Go!

2009-04-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

This story was in the L.A. Times today about a girl scout that warned both a local city and the state transportation authority about a dangerous intersection where train accidents were likely.

She did a powerpoint presentation for the City of La Canada just last month which was forwarded to CalTrans, but no one actually listened to her. Then, earlier this week another accident happened in the same place--a fatal accident that could have been prevented had the City and CalTrans heeded the girl scout's warning.

Girl Scouts is important y'all. Seriously. I learned stuff like what bark I could use to light a fire even when it was raining, that rose petals are edible, and how to rappel. Not to mention how to make and market majorly kick-ass meatball sandwiches.

I'm so proud of Ms. Malia Mailes, even though the asshats at Caltrans and the City of La Canada totally ignored her warnings. Maybe next time they'll take a 16-year-old with a powerpoint presentation a little more seriously.

The True Age Test

2009-03-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

I realized over the weekend that I am O.L.D. No, it wasn't the muscle aches after hiking (although that did confirm it for me). It was the TV that did it.

Back in the day, when I got my hands on the channel box (as I like to call it, much to T-man's dismay) I went straight to MTV. Of course, we only had one MTV, rather than many there are now. And it played at least some music videos. And maybe the Real World. But I digress.

I don't think I've watched MTV for about five years. I found the channel this weekend for about three seconds and I couldn't get away from it fast enough. What is this crap? At that moment, when I was choosing to watch CNN prime news rather than MTV, it struck me that the transformation is complete.

I am getting gray hair (thanks Mom!).

I am getting achy old-lady hips (thanks Grandma!).

I can't stand loud commercials (thanks Dad!).

And I can't watch MTV anymore to save my life. But I still like by circa 1982 MTV t-shirt that my Dad snagged for me back when I was a little kid. It looks just like the logo above, same colors and everything, and it's awesome.

Damn That's A Big Gun

2009-03-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I think it's gotta be a .50 caliber, dontcha think? All I know is Ms. Twin Bullet better use two hand to shoot that puppy.

Move over Stan Lee. I just created a super hero. This website lets you create your own customized hero. Soooooo much more fun that writing serious legal things.

My favorite is her mask. Wouldn't it be nice to have one of those bad boys to put on sometimes?

Pink guns were not my first choice, but hey, pink gun, black gun, silver gun, all of them are gonna kill bad guys, right?

Its as if someone got into my head and asked what the most fabulous Easter gift could possibly be.........

2009-03-03T13:37:00.000-08:00

And then gave the idea to McDonald's.

You know how we have the Shamrock Shake? In Britain they got the Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry. My head just exploded.

I absolutely love Cadbury Creme Eggs. On Easter day I will go to the local market and buy out their display (which goes on sale on Easter day) and enjoy Creme Eggs for weeks afterward. Okay, the part about weeks was a lie, I can't let Creme Eggs sit in my house without eating them. For days afterward. Days. I swear I won't eat ALL of them on Easter day.

Once I found out about this, I learned a little more about Cadbury.

And dammit, I found out I was right that they reduced the size of Cadbury Creme Eggs! But only in America! Damn Brits!!!!

Yum. Chocolate. Only 35 days to go.

Bad News and More Bad News

2009-03-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

A man whose voice I heard almost every day as a high schooler has died. Probably most of us have heard Paul Harvey on the radio. At WFRM we played his vignettes every day. They were short and usually inspirational stories with a somewhat surprise ending. He did his own commercials. Very old school. Very cool. Never again will we hear The Rest of the Story.

The Other bad news is that I will continue making less than my male counterparts no matter how dumb and lazy they are. And not just a little less, I'm talking 22% less. My dot on the graph is the highest brown one. While women ALWAYS make less than men, the do the best comparatively in service jobs.

Wait! I am SO mistaken. There are TWO whole jobs in which women make more than men: postal clerks and special education teachers. Of course, it's only 4% more, which is nothing compared to how I'm getting shafted by the legal system. Gee, guess I aimed too high. Should have aspired to be a postal clerk. I could do that, I'm good at losing the mail.

Fasters Unite!

2009-02-26T14:29:00.000-08:00

My lunch options are severely limited during Lent. One of my favorite places around my office is Zankou Chicken, which is hands down one of the best chains in LA for shawarma and roasted chicken, Armenian style.

The ladies in Zankou know me pretty well for ordering the "1/4 plate dark meat" special for lunch. When they see me they just ask "Number 5?" Today I had to say no. Since I know for a fact these ladies are Armenian and therefore more likely than not Armenian Orthodox, I told them I was fasting for Lent.

Well Lord have Mercy did that get them going. They, of course, are fasting too. Armenians kinda all fast the same way, vegan style, as opposed to western Christians who give up everything from swearing to Coca Cola to chocolate for Lent. I ordered hummus and tabouli for lunch. The ladies informed me that the bread they serve has milk, told me to order the rice instead, and gave me 5 extra falafels cuz apparently they feel a camaraderie with me now.

Then they told me to come in the day after Easter for a kabob feast. Now THAT's what I'm talkin' bout. I love you, Zankou ladies.

Who will be going to Zankou for lunch alot this Lent? I think that's a rhetorical question. Oh yes it is.

And We're Off!

2009-02-25T10:37:00.001-08:00

It's the beginning of Lent! I don't know why I put that exclamation point there, because it's not like its Christmas or my Birthday or some other exciting holiday. In fact, Lent is so ascetic, I guess I shouldn't be "celebrating" it at all. But I digress.

Today is Ash Wednesday. Luckily my bangs are long so the mangled dirty cross on my forehead will remain mostly hidden. (While putting a big cross on your forehead is obviously designed to advertise that you're participating in Lent, most people just think my face is dirty. The worst of it was at BYU, where when you explained it to them they were just shocked and abhorred that a Catholic was on their campus. Might as well have been a "666").

From here on out, for the next 40 days, I'll be doing what I do each Lent. Fasting. It started with my Jordanian friend/roomie in college, where we Catholics banded together and fasted Greek Orthodox sytle, i.e. vegan, because that was how her mother raised her. Eventually I decided that vegan was a little too hard core for me, so now I eat seafood, but still no meat or eggs or dairy.

More than anything, it's a good yearly challenge. Can I do it? And it's not like a diet where you can cheat, or like a promise you can break. This is LENT. God sees all, ya dig? No hiding from him. I can proudly say I haven't knowingly cheated in 10 years. (I'm going to go ahead and ignore mistaken consumption of gelatin or butter or some other hidden ingredient now and then).

And I would just like to say that I've never had as nice a cross as the dude in the picture. I mean, you can even tell that it's a cross! Usually mine is a mangled blotch. Lucky bald dude.

I Love The Music In My Ears

2009-02-24T09:32:00.000-08:00

Last 10 songs that just played on my ipod:

1. Long Distance Operator-The Band

2. Let Me In-Wings

3. Take Control-Weezer

4. Old Enough-The Raconteurs

5. M.E.X.I.C.O.-The Kills

6. Eleanor Rigby-The Beatles

7. Rag and Bone-The White Stripes

8. No No No-Yeah Yeah Yeahs (that's funny!)

9. Hell Yes-Beck

10. Against the Wind-Bob Seger

Hmmmm. Maybe I Don't Want To Be Fashionable.

2009-02-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

I know I've talked about this site on this blog before. I love the Fug Girls and their typically appropriate commentary on "fashion," particularly of the celebrity kind. With New York Fashion Week here, they have had plenty of fodder. Including Kirsten Dunst, above. (Holy God what is that thing she's wearing??)

But when I saw this photo I didn't even see Kiki. Nope. My attention was immediately pinpointed upon the gentleman to Kiki's left. Specifically his wrists and lower hands.

What in the holy hell are those things? Wrist warmers? Fashionable apparel for those inflicted with Carpal Tunnel? An attempt to hide a botched suicide attempt? If it's warm enough to wear short sleeves, why do the wrists need extra protection?

So many questions. And as an aside, I can't even knit, but I'm pretty sure my high school home ec project came out better than that monstrosity she's sporting. And the sleeves weren't even the same length.

You Go Girls!

2009-02-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

Seriously, have you guys checked out this website yet? Shorpy is awesome. I could browse it for hours, just archived photo after photo of the old days. Five year old kids working in factories, super old war photos, all kinds of cool stuff. That is, if you think old pictures are cool. Luckily if you're on my blog in the first place chances are you're into dorky stuff like that too.

Our Insanely Good (and Huge) Dinner at Sakan

2009-02-16T17:52:00.000-08:00

Two nights of our trip to Japan were spent at Sakan, a hot spring hotel outside of the city of Sendai which is a couple of hours north of Tokyo by Shinkensan (bullet train). Our stay at Sakan included all dinners. When we arrived at dinner the second night, this is what was already at my place. For those that have never eaten Japanese it's very confusing, so let me explain. Clockwise from left, the first is a basket with crab, glass noodles, tofu, and vegetables, all raw. The contents of that basket are meant to be placed into the large metal lidded pot above the basket. On the top right is uncooked rice with the bowl in which it will be served overturned on top of it. On the tray is a series of appetisers and next to it is shoyu sauce for the sashimi. Once you sit down they start bringing out the rest of the food:

First a lightly fried fish served with grated cucumber and lemon,

Then a serving of anago sushi (Truman's grandma would only let me eat the eel, cuz the rice would supposedly fill me up too much);

Next was a light poached white fish served on top of soba noodles;

Sashimi plate, half eaten, including ama ebi, squid, tuna, and scallop;

Once we sat down the hostess light a fuel canister under the metal pot and heated the broth inside. When it boils, you place the contents of the basket in one by one, starting with the crab. A big part of Japanese cuisine is cooking the food right in front of you;

Finally about halfway through dinner the hostess comes in and lights another fuel element under the uncooked rice, which has just been soaking in water since we sat down for dinner. The rice cooks and bubbles while you work on the hot pot and the sashimi. The rice is amazingly good, shiny, and tender. They serve it by itself at the end with pickles. When I told Truman's mom's Japanese friends that in American Japanese restaurants the rice is served with dinner, they thought it was very weird.

Finally for dessert we were served orange sorbet in an orange peel. Honestly, this is a frozen orange peel with sorbet in place of the fruit. Those damned ingenious Japanese! Thank God we wore robes to dinner so there was room to loosen our belts! Holy crap do I love Japanese food.

Yatta!!!!

2009-02-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Finally we have some Japan pictures! Still no camera cord, but the friendly folks at Walgreens got all kinds of technology such that I got all my pictures for the low cost of $2.99. And I didn't really do anything, I just wanted to bust out Hiro-style with one of the only Japanese phrases I know.

Right outside our hotel in Tokyo was Shinjuku Central Park, which has gardens, walking paths, workout areas, a temple, and a large homeless community. This is one of the fierce dogs guarding the temple. Look at them teeth.

The blue tarps indicate a homeless community. They are extremely well organized, have clothes lines and little huts. However, they are literally cordoned off in the corner of the park. It is interesting, weird, and not what I expected to find in Tokyo.

We left Tokyo for only two nights, and during that time we headed north to Sendai and the hot springs that surround Sendai. The hotel that we stayed in provided us with a private dining room where we dined Japanese style. Hot spring hotels in Japan provide yukatas, the robes that we're all sporting, to all guests. Pretty much everyone runs around the hotel in a robe. It's awesome and very comfortable. Of course, we had to specially request a giant-size for me so that I wasn't sporting high-waters, robe-style.

This is the river that ran right alongside our hotel. The hot spring hotel was in a small town that was not touristy at all.

First time through Japan I thought these were graves. Not so. They are markers from the shogun era denoting what samurai ran this area during what time.

Speaking of samarui, can you imagine hauling yourself around in that outfit? Damn! Our hotel had a small museum inside with some relics of the shogun era.

More pictures coming! Food posts next!

Ug

2009-02-04T10:35:00.001-08:00

Just got back from Japan and what do I have to show for it? Nada. Can't find my cord to connect the camera and the computer, so for the time being I can only view my 400 pictures of Japan on a tiny little camera view screen. And I so wanted to share them with you.

The question is how long I will search for the damn thing before I break down and buy a new one. I can already feel my will breaking. Want. Pictures. Now!

This Is Awesome

2009-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for Japan on Friday, so yesterday I called my boyfriend's mom (the organizer of the trip) for our itinerary info.

This is what she tells me:

Boyfriend's Mom: Okay, we leave Los Angeles at 1:10 pm on Friday, and arrive at 5:50 pm on Saturday.

Me: Oh my God.

BM: It's just the seventeen hour time difference! Let me tell you the rest of it: on the way back, we leave Tokyo at 5:30 pm on Sunday afternoon and arrive at 11:30 a.m. on Sunday in Los Angeles.

Me: Huh? We get back before we even left? In time for the Superbowl (Here we go Steelers Here we go!!) and everything?

I love the international date line! How awesome is it that I'll be on a plane for ten hours and still get back the morning that I left? Does that even make any sense? Nope. Woo hoo!

Facebook Is Evil

2009-01-16T10:58:00.000-08:00

So I SHOULD HAVE spent the past hour amending a complaint for my client, but instead I've been browsing photos and profiles of long lost school chums and friends.

Damn you Facebook! If only you were a client and I could bill you!

Boo!!!!!

2009-01-15T13:07:00.001-08:00

My favorite radio station in LA, Indie 103.1, has gone kaput. Now we have the choices of F$@#*ing Ryan Seacrest garbage, random 80s-90s"mix" music, a bad classic rock station, and whatever atrocious crap 98.7 is playing.

Indie was getting a little too big for its hipster britches, but they had a cool morning show host that was the bassist from the Vandals that was also a gun-toting lawyer. I liked him. They had Jonesy (Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols) hosting a lunch time show where he played crazy stuff I had never heard before and lovingly rambled on incoherently about thirty years in the music industry. It was an eclectic and fun station that always played something new and interesting.

But because Indie 103.1 wouldn't play Brit-Brit's new single instead of some good old Smiths or Arcade Fire or the Kills, Indie got the ax from its big corporate owner (screw you Entravision Communcations!!!!). Now they'll be playing "regional Mexican rhythmic and cumbia music." Dammit! Thank God I don't have to commute far anymore. This really blows.

The Steagles?

2009-01-15T10:57:00.001-08:00

Did you guys know that the Steelers combined teams with both the Philadelphia Eagles and (at the time) Chicago Cardinals at different times during WWII because each team lost so many players to the draft?

Check this out.

Too bad that no matter whether the Eagles or the Cardinals win this weekend, neither one is a match for the awesome power of the Steel Curtain.

GO STEELERS!

(Oh, and sorry my posts are currently all football and sci fi--it may be the effects of working in an almost exclusively male office. Then again, when I tried to watch the Sex and the City movie last night I almost clawed my own eyes out. Maybe I can't blame it on my co-workers.....)

Dune

2009-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Frank Herbert's Dune. I watched the movie about three times before I got it--but the book is so far superior and reaches so much further into the Dune world. I'm totally into it. Currently on to book 2, Dune Messiah. A little less action and more conspiracy, but I'm down for that. And I'm totally in love with St. Alia of the Knife, who is one of the most bad ass chicks out there. She totally killed her own grandpa when she was four (but he really deserved it).

I would LOVE to have Bene Gesserit training. Check out that hot getup the Bene Genesserit Reverant Mother's got on in that picture--what with the bald head and the chainmail--she's pretty awesome and scary. Notwithstanding the ability to command people to do things with the Voice, a Bene Gesserit can control every single muscle and nerve her body. I mean, the whole part about being used as a vessel for eugenic projects spanning millenniums, and manipulating men into creating certain bloodlines is creepy, but it might be worth it to never trip and fall on my face ever again.

Bonus Info: Did you know that Giada De Laurentiis's grandma appeared in Dune as a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother? Now you do.

Spoken Like a True Pittsburgher

2009-01-06T16:45:00.000-08:00

As my uncle, whom I had not seen in a year, walked out the door of my home on Saturday morning, his final words to me were: "You better be rooting for the Steelers in the playoffs!"

No "I love you." No "Take care my niece." Just the important stuff.

So, yes uncle, I will be waiving my Terrible Towel on Sunday and yelling heartily for the downfall of the San Diego Chargers like a good member of our family. Here We Go Steelers Here We Go!

Bathroom Small Talk Gone Wrong

2009-01-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

SCENARIO #!

Location: Office bathroom, which is shared with several other suites on our floor.

Scene: Cold, rainy, dreary. Monday morning.

Me (to lady from another office, name unknown): Geez look at us. Its one of those days that just calls to you to wear all black, isn't it?

Lady from another office, name unknown: Oh. No, I'm dressing in all black because my mother just died and I am in mourning. She lived with me and I am terribly distraught to no longer have her in my life. I will keep wearing black until I am done mourning.

Me: Oh. Mumble Mumble so sorry mumble run out the door.

SCENARIO #2

Location: Office bathroom, which is shared with several other suites on our floor.

Scene: New Years Eve. Career office lady is moving out, but it's not public knowledge YET.

Me (to random lady from career office next door): Happy New Year!

Lady from Career Office: To you too!

(I go into stall. She continues to talk. It's somewhat muffled. I personally don't like talking from the stall but don't want to be rude).

Lady from Career Office: I'm leaving ..........

Me: Oh, you're leaving? You mean, moving out?

Lady from Career Office: Actually I am moving out, but all I said was that I'm leaving here early today because of the holiday. How did you know I was moving out?

(Lady from Career Office runs out the door without washing dishes she came in to wash).

Question for the day: Just how many people can Emily offend with seemingly innocuous bathroom talk?

Majel Barret Has Gone to Sto-Vo-Kor

2008-12-18T17:28:00.000-08:00

I am truly saddened.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry passed away today. Majel was probably best known as Gene Roddenberry's (the creator of Star Trek) wife. Majel was the voice of the Enterprise's Computer from the original series all the way through the new and yet unreleased Star Trek set to come out next summer.

Majel caused controversy in the 1960s. She was originally Kirk's "Number One" in the pilot, only to be replaced by Spock when the network didn't like having a woman second in command of the Enterprise. I always thought it was awesome that before Spock there was Majel.

Majel was also Nurse Chapel in the Original Series, and Lwaxana Troi on TNG (The Next Generation) and Deep Space Nine. She was always trying to get herself some Jean Luc. Then some Odo. Clearly she had a thing for reserved men that were completely overwhelmed by her.

Majel has been part of Star Trek since its inception and it is without irony that I say that the world has lost a pioneer and a great woman.

We'll miss you, Majel. You and Gene look so cute together in that picture, I hope you're finally together again.

Oh and for your Trek purists, yes, I know that Lwaxana was Betazoid, not Klingon, but damn, give me a break. Lwaxana was a warrior in her own way and didn't take shit from no one, so that's enough to make her an honorary Klingon in my book.

No Promises, No Demands

2008-11-10T16:24:00.000-08:00

On a lighter note than what's been thrown at you lately on this blog, I want everyone here to remember just how awesome music videos used to be. Frankly I don't even know if they really "make" videos anymore, but..... I'm afraid to finish that sentence as it will make me feel really old. :) Enjoy this classic. There are few songs that are as fun to sing along to.

I Can Hear It

2008-11-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

Just down the street from me they are protesting. I have goosebumps. I can hear the helicopters overhead. Citizens are protesting in front of the LSD (Goddamn Mormon) Temple in Los Angeles. If you're free and not stuck in an office with an oppressive conservative boss like me (Hi Mark!) go down there and give 'em some hell. I did symbolically flip off a ward that I passed on my way to work, but I sure would like to be down there giving them some hell!

Dark Clouds. But a possible silver lining.

2008-11-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

The Goddamn Mormons won this round, but they ain't gonna win the war. They succeeded in lying and scaring California voters into taking away the rights of other Californians, but their success won't last. It won't last because the system of American Government, the Constitution, and the People won't let it last. It won't last because the U.S. Constitution does not allow discrimination, even if the Goddamn Mormons want our California Constitution to codify it. It won't last because Californians up and down the coast protested and made their voices heard last night that we won't stand for inequality and hate in our state. It won't last because Californians are already legally challenging an amendment to our Constitution which fundamentally changes rights of Californians.

I'm confident that one day we will succeed. We will succeed because it is not the right of Americans to take away the rights of other Americans. The Fourteenth Amendment guarantees that Americans are to be treated equally under the law. Equally.

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

California just amended its Constitution to specifically deny equal protection to gays. And what did we learn in during the Civil Rights Movement, specifically relating to segregation? Separate is inherently not equal.

I understand that Californians are working to challenge Prop 8 legally based upon other grounds (most notably that such a change to the Constitution cannot be effectuated by proposition), and we may be able to clean up our own mess, as California. But if we can't, its a whole other reason to be excited about Obama, because the U.S. Supreme Court should be poised to rule on gay marriage the exact same way they ruled on interracial marriage. America didn't collapse when blacks and whites (and all other races) could marry, and it won't collapse when gays can marry.

Whether you agree with gay marriage or not is completely irrelevant. Your personal morals are irrelevant. Your religion is irrelevant. Your opinion is irrelevant, as is mine. All that matters is that this is America, a place where people, more than anywhere else in the world, are supposed to be free and equal. And our Constitution guarantees those rights. It guarantees that all Americans are to be treated equally. So the Goddamn Mormon hate doesn't really matter. Equality will be vindicated eventually. And those who fought against that equality will hopefully be remembered as the divisive hatemongers that they are. And those self-righteous people who hide behind religion to promote hate will get their payback when they find out that God don't discriminate and loves gays and straights just the same. But FYI to the Goddamn Mormons: God hates hypocrites. So stop your bullshit hypocracy about the "sanctity of marriage" while you are marrying three or four women (underage) at a time. You will get your due.

Despicable.

2008-10-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

Those that feel they must stop California from offering equal protection under the law to its citizens have taken an interesting new approach to fundraising.

This letter is being sent to some major donors to the NO on Prop 8 campaign. Basically, it says that these donors should donate an equal amount of money to the YES on Prop 8 campaign or else "it is a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage."

That's actually what it says.

If you oppose Prop 8, you oppose traditional marriage. So I guess when I go and vote NO on Prop 8 next month, I must OPPOSE traditional marriage.

I guess I didn't realize that Prop 8 somehow invalidates marriages between men and women.

Or that allowing gay marriage will somehow lead to man/sheep marriage in the near future, like this idiot seems to think. (On a related note, the idiot that runs the man/sheep site has refused to publish any of my comments at all. No obscenity was included or anything else inappropriate, he just can't have any differing opinions on his blog.) But let me just take this opportunity to say that if he hates gay marriage that much, he must be gay. Ted Haggard much?

Maybe its a good sign that the Yes on Prop 8 people are getting this desperate. They can't honestly believe that someone who had enough conviction to donate $10k to the NO campaign would turn around and undo the good that they did.

But did Yes on Prop 8 realize the potential backlash? They're just giving me a reason to donate and campaign for the other side.

Screw the Evil Mormons. Vote NO on Proposition 8!!!!!!!

2008-10-21T15:18:00.001-07:00

Californians, we have a huge problem, and they are called the Mormons. Goddamn Mormons. Yeah, I said it. Screw you, Mormons, I've been on the path to hell since I rejected your "gospel" back in 1996. I'm well-stewed in heathen at this point. No going back.

Well, the Goddamn Mormons are trying to take away the fundamental rights of Californians to marry. The Goddamn Mormons have put more money into the "Yes on Prop 8" (no on equality) than anyone else, and they are winning because of it.

People, we have to fight the Goddamn Mormons. If we let them have their way, soon they will outlaw coffee. Tea. Shorts and sleeveless shirts (for women). Swearing. Alcohol. Fun. You think I'm kidding?????? Get thee to Utah and find out for yourself.

The point is, its not up to the Goddamn Mormons to decide which Californians can get married and which can't. And it shouldn't be up to us, the voters, either. Who are we to deny adult, human Americans rights? What happened to the land of the free? Fundamental rights? Not being oppressed by another's religion? Oh that's right, that's the one the crazies want us to forget about. If we ain't born again we must be terrorists.

This whole gay marriage thing is interracial marriage for the 2000s. Legally, its the exact same arguments that came up and the same equal protection and fundamental rights issues that the Supreme Court decided in Loving v. Virginia, where it ruled that laws outlawing interracial marriage were illegal. Why? Because THE GOVERNMENT HAS NO BUSINESS TELLING CONSENTING ADULTS WHO(m?) THEY CAN AND CANNOT MARRY!

Let's take care of a few misconceptions about keeping gay marriage in California legal:

Letting the CA supreme court decision stand will not make us all gay.

It will not make heterosexual men marry other men.

It will not make churches that oppose gay marriage conduct homosexual weddings.

It will not remove the tax exempt status from churches that do not conduct homosexual weddings.

It will not make your kids gay.

It will not make your kids learn about gay marriage.

It will not make teachers teach their students that gay marriage is good, or okay, or something they should aspire to.

Now let's look at what keeping gay marriage legal in California will do:

It will allow adult, consenting, same-sex couples to marry.

It will allow homosexual couples to obtain benefits for their spouses.

It will allow homosexual couples to safely bequeath their assets to each other in their wills (which are often contested currently by greedy family members trying to screw the gay partner that doesn't have legal standing).

It will allow homosexual couples the peace and security that heterosexual couples have enjoyed for years.

The Mormon agenda is a scary one. They are strong in California and they have a crapload of money. There is NO GOOD REASON TO VOTE FOR PROP 8 other than to deny other Americans rights.

Support what America REALLY STANDS FOR: EQUALITY AND FREEDOM. Otherwise, we're no better than Al Qaeda, stifling people's rights, putting forth radical religious agenda, and snarling at anyone who gets in our way.

This Looks Promising

2008-10-15T16:28:00.001-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I am skeptical of the new Trek movie. Prequels have a history of sucking hard core. I assume there is no need to make allusions to other movie empires with "Star" in the title.

J.J. finally let us see something other than glimpses of the Enterprise. A nice consolation prize for the fact that the movie was pushed back six months? Here are some of the pictures that were finally released.

Dude. This actually looks kinda cool. Uhura's hot. Bones looks like Bones (annoyed). The dude's hair on the left is annoying the hell out of me. Is he supposed to be Chekov? Ug. Chekov was always kind of a dweeb.

Um, this looks like Spock going all Sylar on Kirk's ass. (Take away the uniform and the eyebrows and thats a total Sylar "I'm going to remove part of your brain" look. No?) Maybe some trouble with his human emotions as a youth?

I believe that this is Eric Bana all done up as the bad guy. He does not look like Eric Bana. He looks very bad ass. However, he does not look particularly Romulan. I see the points and the eyebrows, but still, not very Romulan. I am intrigued. I am hoping we are not diving into Nemesis territory here.

All in all, I have hope. You better come through, J.J. Abrams! The entire geekaverse is depending on you!!

Have I geeked out hardcore enough for all of you? I am feeling good! Live long and prosper, bitches!!

Geek Humor

2008-10-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

Honestly, knowing Lucas' propensity for selling anything and everything possible with "Star Wars" plastered on it to his faithful fanboys and fangirls, I gave serious thought as to whether or not this was the real deal.

Walter Sobchak is My Hero

2008-10-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!

Emily's Current Top Ten Favorite Movies In No Particular Order:

1. harold and maude

2. 9 to 5

3. the incredibles

4. ladyhawke

5. the freshman (what can I say, Matthew Broderick made some good ones in the 80s)

6. high fidelity

7. the big lebowski

8. the royal tennenbaums

9. super troopers

10. indiana jones and the last crusade

Another Reason to Love Nathan Fillion

2008-10-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Nailing Your Wife | Girls | SPIKE.com

Lamest. Mascot. Ever.

2008-10-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

I got an invitation to attend a Whittier College football game over the weekend. As the law school and the college are on separate campuses in separate cities, I had never even known that Whittier had a football team, let alone stepped foot on the campus. And it's a good thing I didn't know any better, because finding out my alma mater's mascot was like a kick in the gonads (if I had them, I think that's what it would be like).

Behold the travesty:

The F'ing POETS???? What the hell? I cannot think of anything weaker and more easily crushed than a poet. The Whittier Poets? It makes me cringe when I say it. Poets? Really?

So I looked into it on Wiki. Turns out the school used to be Quaker and was named after a Quaker poet John Greenleaf Whittier. When the Quakers founded the school they decided that "Johnny Poet" would be their mascot. (God is that lame. I'm from Pennsylvania, we got plenty of Quaker history and no sissy-ass Poet mascots. In fact, I guarantee in Pennsylvania you and your whole school would be beat down in about two seconds if your football team, the Poets, came to town).

Well I looked up ol' Greenleaf, and he wasn't only a poet! He was an abolitionist (The Whittier Abolitionists!), an editor (The Whittier Editors!), an essayist (The Whittier Essayists!), all of which sound much stronger and better for a football team than the Poets. They could have even gone with the vanilla "Quakers." I know it has religious connotations, but at least it sounds like you're shaking things up!

When I looked at other school mascots, the only one lamer than Whittier was Evergreen State. Their mascot? A geoduck. What's a geoduck, you may ask???? Why, this is a geoduck:

Yeah. The grossest looking clam you ever seen. So gross that its body is running away from its shell. This is not something to be proud of, Whittier. We gotta do better. I personally like Idaho's mascot: the Vandals. Its nice, and it has connections to 80s punk. What could be better?

Pedestrian Rage

2008-09-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

So I almost killed a woman last night. Why, you may ask, would a sweet and delicate flower such as you, Emily, do such an uncharacteristically violent thing? (Stop that! I can hear you laughing. I am a delicate flower).

Cuz bitch almost ran me over.

I was minding my own business, walking down the street in Santa Monica.... Ahh, but there in lies the problem. Who dares walk in Santa Monica? Don't I have a fancy car in the garage so I can drive it everywhere so people can see me in it? Maybe she didn't care because she figured I must be poor if I was walking. But I digress.

I attempted to cross the street, when I had the right to do so, when I had "the walking man" symbol giving me the a-okay. But this lady never even turned her head toward me, she just popped a right with not a care in the world.

She came about two inches from taking out my left leg. I had to contort my body and pretty much fall on the hood of her car to avoid getting hit. I screamed some obscenities, slammed my hand down on her hood really super hard to scare her, and told her to watch where the hell she was going. She mumbled something through her half-open window that she was sorry. Then she sped off.

I was about this close to opening her door, hauling her out of her car, and beating the everloving crap out of her. The lawyer in me cried restraint. In retrospect, I wish I had popped her one. Or two. Or maybe just tried to run her over to see how she likes it.

See, I AM a delicate little flower. If you don't agree, I'll pop you too. Jerk.

VICTORY!

2008-09-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, look at the fancy legal picture I stole from another law firm's website. I totally need a gavel.

Guess who just won their first summary judgment motion today? (Not much of a guess, of course, but I'll give you a moment to ponder it...)

ME! Yes, the judge was SO completely convinced that he didn't even really ask for oral argument at the hearing. He just granted it based on the papers, which is unbelievably cool, just like me. Woo hoo!

For anyone wondering out there, summary judgment is basically me saying to the judge, "Hey Judge, this guy's got no case at all. I mean, it's so obvious he has no case that we don't even have to go to trial. Just take a look at this yahoo's crap and we can get it done right here and now, Judge, no need to waste any more of your time." Generally they're pretty hard to win, but I bitchslapped plaintiff up one side and down the other so many times in this case that I had all the proof I needed. Again, props to me. :)

Frankly the plaintiff's lawsuit completely sucked, which made it much easier to win than if I was actually up against a competent civil litigator, but what the hell. I take the victories where I can get them.

If I only didn't have to come back to the office after my awesome pummeling of plaintiff and work like a dog all day, it might have actually felt victorious. Ah, the life of a lawyer.

Barack Who? McCain What? KROMKE 2008!

2008-08-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

Swoon

2008-08-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

I've been getting wayyyy too political around these parts lately. Let's talk about something we can all agree on. Isn't Christian Bale dreamy?

Wait....here's a little scruffier picture for you.

I think I came to the realization that I had a problem when I saw Dark Knight on Saturday night and then on Sunday watched parts of (1) Batman Begins, (2) Reign of Fire, and (3) Laurel Canyon. Lord have mercy. Whew. And don't be judgmental people! I did a ton of crap on Saturday, okay? I deserved some damned TV time on Sunday. It's the day of rest for God's sake. Anyway, you know you can't argue with me. Go wipe the drool off of your keyboard.

Gulf of Tonkin for the 21st Century

2008-08-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

I went searching on Google Images for "anthrax" with hopes that I'd get an image of something cool like Paris Hilton or something, but instead I just got really gross pictures of open wounds (which I guess is what we're talking about here), and photos of the band Anthrax. So I was going to post a picture of the band, not the wounds, cuz it's funnier (and what's not funny? chemical weapons!) and less scary. Was not meant to be today, Blogger's pissed at me that I haven't posted in months and so this one's image free, folks.

So the dude that was suspected of perpetrating those "anthrax attacks" right after 9/11 just killed himself. Apparently if he did do it, which of course is speculation, it would basically mean that people from our own government, with access to anthrax, sent letters laced with anthrax to Congress and media in order to start a war! Check THIS out to get the story. God forbid we learn from our own mistakes. How un-American! And have you noticed when we start these nifty wars that they don't seem to work out the way we planned? (cough, Vietnam, cough).

Another Bush

2008-06-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

I have little hope for McCain. Not that I had alot to begin with, but he just keeps getting worse and worse.

Although he stated several times that he does not believe in unwarranted wire tapping, he has now done (another) 180 and stated that the Executive should have the ability to spy on Americans "in a time of war."

Same crap as Bush. Constitution? What Constitution? (As a side note, I must point out that this is not a Democrat/Republican issue. Our Senator, the lovely Dianne Feinstein, voted for the warrantless surveillance bill, FISA, too. When I wrote her to say how disappointed I was that she gave away our civil liberties, I received a reply that because I was a simple citizen and didn't know what the Senator knew from our military, that I was just wrong. Bitch.)

Listen, asshats, if you have a reason to spy on Americans, a judge will issue a warrant. If you don't have a reason to be spying on Americans...well....that's we have the Fourth Amendment! And they wonder why membership with the ACLU has doubled since Bush became President.

Screw the Will of the People

2008-06-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought we had a win, it turns out the stupid people of California are going to get the chance to vote on it.

The Secretary of State of California just announced that the issue of gay marriage will be on the ballot in November. This comes on the heels of the California Supreme Court finding that banning gay marriage violates the right to marry and the Constitution's guaranty of equal protection under the law.

Apparently polls show that California voters will narrowly approve the initiative to amend the California constitution to define marriage as an institution between a man and a woman in order to get around the Supreme Court's ruling. Who in God's name cares so much about screwing a small part of the population out of a fundamental right? In most cases I'm all for the voice of the people, but frankly it's none of their damn business whether their neighbor marries a man or a woman. Equal rights has got to win on this one, it's our only hope.

Hurry up already, U.S. Supreme Court! You are now the only ones that can save us from ourselves! I mean, I know it took you until the 21st century to find that gayness itself is not illegal, but damn, California's making it easy for you! They did this back in the day with interracial marriage, and in 10 years you followed suit. Please don't take so long this time. It's an easy one. Equal rights. Equal protection. Who are you to say who can and can't get married? Are the straights really doing such a great job with it? I mean, Jesus, we let Britney and K-Fed get married and procreate. Twice. Sheesh.

Finally!

2008-05-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting YEARS for a thunderstorm in this place devoid of all weather, Los Angeles.

When I heard the first clap of thunder I thought my ears were deceiving me, or that perhaps my brain had finally just given up and moved back to Florida, where the ONLY good thing was the kick-ass thunderstorms we had every day in the summer (minus the spike in humidity that followed to accompany the 105+ degree heat). But it's an actual thunderstorm. Ten years ago I would have laughed my ass off at someone writing about some freaking rain and thunder, but lemme tell you, the West has made me actually miss things like clouds and thunder and snow and all that good stuff.

Oh, and it's starting to rain. Big drops, too, none of the drizzle the losers around here normally consider rain. And it's rush hour. The chaos. I have already heard wayyyy more sirens than normal for a Thursday afternoon on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Good God am I easily pleased. Everyone in my office thinks I'm crazy because I'm excited about some damn thunder.

Ise Temple

2008-05-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

Ise Temple is the main temple historically utilized by the Emperor of Japan and the imperial family. It is still used today for events like royal weddings. Apparently the shrine itself as well as the bridge are rebuilt ever 20 years as has been done for the past 2000 years.

This is the entrance to the Temple. The long bridge goes over a river and leads to the Temple grounds, which were extensive and included many ponds, structures, and beautiful forest.

The view from the bridge entering the Temple grounds. The entire riverbank is lined with rocks. Throughout Japan it is interesting to note how the Japanese seek to control and tame nature to do their bidding and how they do it in an effective and ascetically pleasing way.

On the other side of the bridge is a place for the ritual purification of oneself before entering the temple. Lord have mercy that water was straight from the river and freezing cold.

The entrance to a temple building. Note that only the royal family and priests can enter the temple--not even Japanese citizens are allowed to go inside. They actually had an imperial guard standing at the actual temple ensuring that no one took photos.

Another temple building, but not the actual temple.

Some kind of Shinto prayer wheels. Truman and I thought immediately of the Golden Child. Eddie Murphy scratching the wheel like its a turntable and he's a DJ. Good times.

Royal Shinto chickens. There were some with beautiful plumage, but all other chicken pictures were way fuzzy.

This Lady and Her Shamrock Scarf Are Crazy

2008-03-31T10:34:00.000-07:00

So, you know how Hillary was practically shot down in Bosnia during her amazing "this shows my foreign policy experience" trip as First Lady back in the early 90s? And everybody (and when I say everybody I mean even Sinbad, yes, that Sinbad) called bull on her story of sniper fire and peril?

Well people, apparently she was telling the truth. Behold:

Not Enough Time in A Day!

2008-03-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

For me to actually, you know, WORK at work, and for me to do all of the requisite analyzation and comparison required to vote for FUG MADNESS 2008!

Bai Ling v. Kelly Clarkson!

Sienna Miller v. Kate Moss!

Posh Beckham v. Joss Stone!

Juliette Lewis v. Juliette Lewis!

Damn, she's hot.

Fug Madness is totally addictive. I now know what it's like for my male co-workers during their stupid March Madness BS. However, Fug Madness is even BETTER than March Madness b because you can vote for who advances! Check out some of these contenders:

The bodysuits! The gloves!

The hats!

The. . .diapers?

Honestly I think I'd be happy if any of those lovely ladies shown above win, but my heart belongs to Juliette.

Food In Japan Update

2008-03-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

Musk melon IS cantaloupe!

See this article.

Food in Japan

2008-03-23T16:45:00.001-07:00

Food in Japan is, first and foremost, GOOD. I thoroughly enjoyed each meal I had there, from beef to duck to seafood, from raw to cooked.

As Japanese department stores as just as cool as you imagine them to be, apparently most of them have grocery stores/markets on the bottom floor. Generally one half was a grocery store where you could buy produce, meat, and fish as well as boxed and canned goods like rice or cereal. So, I went about basically acting like what we in America would call a "Japanese Tourist," and took photos all over their grocery store.

Behold: Wasabi in its natural form:

Behold: a "musk melon" (which I must confess I thought was a cantaloupe) for approximately $150! That better be one hell of a melon!

The market in the department store may not be where most Japanese shop on a regular basis, but it sure was a feast for the eyes. The other half of the market consisted of vendors selling prepared foods from small kiosks. You can find anything including chocolate, yakitori, katsu, sushi, sandwiches, dumplings, ice cream, salads and even Italian paninis. We bought a little from many different shops to take with us on the bullet train to Nagoya. Interesting note: Japanese do not eat while walking.

Probably the most extravagant meal we had on the trip was Chinese New Year's Eve Dinner. We all assembled in a private dining room in our hotel in our fashionable Japanese robes, called yukatas, for dinner. Yes, we all matched--photos will be posted.

The set dinner menu was written down on the small menu you can see in the bottom left corner of the picture. The dinner included a hot pot (the metal bowl on the left--it is atop a small grill with charcoal underneath), tempura, sushi, and a bunch of stuff that I have no idea what it was, but it sure was good. Check out that spread!

Another aspect of Japanese cuisine, which to some extent holds for much of Asian cuisine, is that Asians like to cook the food themselves. I think it has something to do with the fact that they appreciate food that is so burning hot that it will remove tastebuds from a typical Whitey's tongue.

One night near Lake Biwa (the name of the town currently excapes me) we feasted on duck hot pots, which were basically big hot pots of broth, with vegetables, in which we boiled big fatty pieces of duck for our eating delight.

Another example is to the right, where we had Mitsusaka beef (forgive me for the probable misspelling of Mitsusaka). Rosie is flipping meat on the grill and Truman is telling her she's doing it wrong. :)

The beef is special, the equivalent of Kobe beef. It was magically tender. It melted in my mouth. It was such good beef that we were actually served with beef sashimi which is--you guessed it--raw slices of beef. The owners of the restaurant owned the farm where the cows were raised, and also owned the brewery of the beer which we had with dinner and which the cows enjoyed before they were slaughtered. No, really. If you don't believe me, look up why Japanese beef is so good and so expensive.

Go to Japan. Eat the food. Eat all of it. Don't ask what it is. You will be happy.

Oh Crap, NOW's Revoking My Feminist Card

2008-03-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

So in case you guys haven't heard, we've got a black guy and a woman running for President. And that's a bigger deal than any actual issue in the election--you're not supposed to make your decision based upon the candidates' records, demeanor, ability to preside, or, God forbid, the actual issues.

I admit I haven't been through too many elections--my first presidential election memory was visiting my democratic Grandma Violet in, I would estimate, 1984, during the Democratic National Convention. She had it on TV the entire visit, much to my dismay, and kept referring to Reagan as "my Father's buddy," which did not understand at the time.

My second memory of a presidential election is from 1996, when my friend Mandy and I ran a mock presidential election in our high school and studied the results for a social studies class. That was an awesome project. Ahhh, the memories.

I digress. The point is, maybe every election is like this to an extent--but never has the media had the fodder of both a WOMAN and a MINORITY as real contenders against EACH OTHER. The utter garbage that I have read as a result of this contest sickens me.

Apparently, you're not a real woman if you don't support Hillary. We, as women, will never know success and our own ability as females until we see Hillary being sworn in as President. Somehow, electing Hillary will break barriers, finally make women and men "equal," and will obliterate the glass ceiling.

I say that's a load of horsesh*t. I personally have no faith in the woman. What if she does a terrible job? Will women never have another shot at the big seat? What if she gets us into ANOTHER war? (No matter how much she tries to ignore it, she DID vote for going into Iraq--great judgment, lady). What about the fact that she's just more of the same crap that we've had for the last twenty years? Don't forget, people, if we elect her we will have had only two families running this country for TWENTY FOUR YEARS!

I'm supposed to vote for her just because she's a woman? Isn't that just as bad as a white man voting for a candidate just because he's a white man? Nay, isn't it worse, because we as women actually know what it's like for people to assume you do or do not have abilities based upon what type of reproductive system you've got? It MAKES NO SENSE.

I would absolutely love to have a woman as president. And although my senior high school year book does reflect that I would like to have been the first one, I really don't mind if someone else takes the reigns. Women make up 50% of this country--we're not minorities. But thrusting the first viable candidate into the post only because she's a woman misses the point.

I hate that people think women are not capable of things simply because they are women. Just ask Truman, he'll tell you I really really really really hate it. I believe that women are capable of anything, including going into combat, managing, leading, legislating, and ruling, but not every woman is capable of everything.

To be honest, one thing that really irks me about Hillary is that she is relying too much on being a woman. By being First Lady, she already has political experience. In fact, she has had at least one Freudian slip where she said "when I'm President again." I really think this lady thought that when Bill was elected, so was she. I'm sorry, but am I the only woman left with a bad taste in my mouth by a woman with little political experience using her husband's experience as a basis for elect ability?

Lets stick to the ISSUES, people! You know, like what color Hillary's suit was at the last debate, and did it make her look old? Or the fact that Obama is fun to say--I like to talk about Obamarama all the time. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

My Secret Life

2008-02-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

It's 4:20 (hehe, 420) on Friday afternoon and I'm at work, pretending to be productive. In reality, I've been perusing "cotton area rugs" on Overstock for hours. Above is the frontrunner right now.

Alternatively, I've been trying to create a floor on FLOR.com. You can buy carpet tiles and make your own rug! It's much harder than one would think--especially when you have no skillz, like me. But this is the idea:
This is the most exciting thing I've got going on right now. Lord have mercy the day needs to end soon. Are you feeling sorry for me yet???

The Most Important Thing About Japan? The Toilet Situation

2008-02-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, so you guys know I went to Japan, that I'm back, and that I haven't posted anything at all about it.

My valid excuse is that once I returned I was swirled into a trial-frenzy by my boss and haven't had the chance to come up for air. The reality is that the trial-frenzy was over by Friday and I still haven't even organized my photos yet. Lazy. Ass.

The one thing that I have been dying to discuss in this forum where I can discuss whatever I want is the Japanese Toilet Situation.

The Japanese Toilet Situation ("JTS") is something I have brought up to most people who have inquired about my trip. These well-meaning individuals probably expect that I will wax poetic about the food, the countryside, the crazy-efficient Japanese people, but no. No, not me. I want to talk about toilets.

There are very few "normal" toilets in Japan, "normal" being the typical toilet in the U.S.
The JTS, and the reason why it facsinated me for the duration of the trip, was this. One bathroom, be it in a rest stop or in a fancy hotel, would have both of the following types of Toilets:

"Hole in the ground that Whitey doesn't quite know how to use," is how I describe this toilet. I had to ask Truman's Taiwanese cousin which way one was supposed to face when using this contraption. Mind you no one, not even those familiar with the JTS, wanted to use it.

The other JTS option is just as befuddling:

It's appropriately called a "shower toilet." Look at all of the buttons! What are they for? Let's take a closer look.

There are so many options!! You can have your back or your front washed. This was very confusing to me until I saw a button like the one above, which clearly shows a woman for the "front wash." You can also chose the water temperature, pressure, and duration. Some also have a blow dry option as well as nice fake flushing noises on demand for those times when you wish you were alone in that public restroom.

Someone in America needs to get working on getting this shit here. It's awesome! (Pun intended.)

Next topic: the Toilet Paper Situation ("TPS"). Better check it before you wreck it!

This is what happens when it rains in LA

2008-01-31T11:31:00.000-08:00

Behold the construction site on my street after four days of rain.

Now THIS is what a viable construction claim looks like. I desperately wanted to wade out there and put my business card on some Bobcats.

Sayonara!

2008-01-31T11:21:00.001-08:00

Heading off to Nagoya, Japan, tomorrow to celebrate Chinese New Year with Truman's Taiwanese family. Geez, if only there were a Korean connection I could have fit all East Asian countries into one sentence. Sigh.

I am steeling myself to be gawked at as the gargantuan white girl roaming the countryside. I plan on hiding behind Truman's 18-year-old and 6' 1" cousin, Ted. I also envision some awkwardness with fitting under tiny Japanese tables and visiting the hot springs, which have two restriction: you cannot have any tattoos or clothing if you want to go in. Lord have Mercy.

Nagoya Castle is above. I can't wait to see it in person.

I Am Not (Too) Ashamed

2008-01-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

Long Live and Prosper. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Make it so. Khaannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Me at Star Trek: The Tour this weekend in Long Beach. Respect.

U-G-L-Y

2008-01-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

He ain't got no alibi, he's Ugly, yeah, he's Ugly.

Truman and I found this little guy running full boar down San Gabriel Boulevard last weekend. For those of you not familiar with LA, San Gabriel is the Chinese neighborhood literally full of unlicensed, fresh off the boat Chinese drivers. A scary place to drive, and even scarier place for a tiny Chihuahua.

So of course we picked him up and named him Wedge. He's the ugliest little dog ever, but very sweet. At least we thought so. Tycho wasn't so hot on him.

The look of distain on Tycho's face is clear. "Get this rat dog outta my house! He's laying in the middle of MY rug!" He managed to step on Wedge at least twice. My personal belief is that it was out of spite. Bastard.

In all honesty, I think Ty was just jealous because Wedgie ROCKED the staircase, unlike Tycho (see previous posts re same). Wedgie could run up and down twice in the time Tycho ambled downstairs carefully.

Poor Tycho just couldn't handle the competition, even when it was less than 1/10 his size (When we took them to the vet we also discovered Tycho's a fattie again--103!). Now Wedge is staying with Truman's sister until we find him a good home, which I think she has. Back to smothering Tycho, and just Tycho, with affection (but not with food, fat boy's on a diet). He deserves it, he's the cutest doggie in the world!

I Love Chuck (Taylor)

2007-12-28T10:39:00.001-08:00

Fridays at the office with no boss.

At least I'm comfortable.

Madonna=Rock???

2007-12-13T15:16:00.001-08:00

First of all, how awesome is that picture of Madonna? She looks like a rough old grandma in a trucker cap. Scratch that. A really mean, nasty, rough old grandma in a trucker cap. Representin' for Detroit, I guess.

So it was announced today that Madonna is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Does anyone see a problem here? Since when is Madonna Rock & Roll? She's pop, she's dance, but she sure as hell isn't "rock." So I thought maybe they just let everyone in. Nope. The f-ing Beastie Boys were denied and Madonna is being inducted. God, at least the Beasties make MUSIC! What a travesty of justice. Can we appeal?

Links

2007-12-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

I have added a "links" section to the right.

I just realized that I left off perezhilton.com. On purpose.

See? I told you it was a guilty pleasure! I'm so ashamed!

Tycho's Got Problems

2007-12-11T10:44:00.001-08:00

So, Tycho the dog has developed a fear of the stairs in our home. He'll go up but he won't come back down. Let's delve into his mind:

"I'm bored of sleeping and playing and living my tough life as a dog. Yawn. I think I want to go downstairs and harass my owners. Oh damn, the stairs. These things scare me."

"That's a long ways down! What if I slip? (Whines.) Lemme just try this first step....nope! No no no, not doing it. (Whine.) I wanna go downstairs! How did I get up here in the first place? Oh, that's right. I'm an idiot. (Whine. Bark. Whine.)"

"Hmmm, instead of walking down the stairs like a normal dog, I think I'll make my owner carry my plus-90-pound ass down the stairs. This is a little uncomfortable for both of us. I always seem to forget just how much I hate being picked up when I'm marching my way UP the stairs."

"My owners are Nazis! They blocked me! And what major roadblock would it take to deter a huge Labrador like me from climbing the stairs, you ask? A rolled up yoga mat. I tried to get past it once. (Whine.) No baby gates needed for this badass."