American Apparel Fails

I saw a banner ad with the picture below today and almost spit out my coffee.


What the holy hell is that thing? A mesh genie suit? In what kind of circumstance would one want to don mesh pants? And why is the ad putting the poor girl in granny panties and still leaving her essentially topless? I want to know someone who actually plans to buy this thing. Or better yet, I want to see someone wear it in public. Maybe we should make American Apparel's founder, Dov Charney wear it. This is Dov:


Ok yeah I take that back. Sorry for the disturbing imagery. But I think we now all understand how "clothing" like that gets made. By douches like him.

The Man Cold

Come on, tell me that this isn't accurate.

You Know How I Know That I'm Old?

Well, number one I'm old because what was fashionable when I was in high school (flannel, Doc Martens, baby doll dresses) are now back in fashion. Which is really whack, considering I didn't keep any of that stuff. I wonder if the Limited will become popular again?

But even worse than that, when I told the other women in my office how excited I was that Doc Martens are back, they didn't know what I was talking about. As in "What are Doc Martens?"

What a travesty. Doc Martens are, as I patiently explained, the shit. Oh the poor youth!

This Just In: Islands Float

The gentleman in the video below, who was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives by the people of Atlanta, apparently believes that if too many people are on the island of Guam that it will capsize. Yes, capsize. As in Guam is apparently just floating on top of the ocean and, you know, if all the inhabitants run to the West side at one time the island will flip over. What does Hank think the bottom of an island looks like, I wonder?

In all seriousness--we elect these people to make draft laws and create policy for the most powerful country in the world? Its terrifying the bona fide idiots that have been given serious power. I'm thinking maybe we need to implement some kind of i.q. test to avoid letting people Like Mr. Hank Johnson and George Bush get elected to office.

No Shame for LA Lawyers

I have a small car. A really small car. My little VW Rabbit can literally fit in almost any spot. She's compact in every way. So I usually do park in "compact" spots if possible, as that is the appropriate size spot for my vehicle.

Yesterday I drove to downtown LA for a court appearance and parked in a nearby parking garage. I parked on an end, up against the far line of my spot, and was initially satisfied that I had more than enough space.

Before I could even get out of my car, a huge ass SUV parks in the spot next to me. The *compact* spot next to me.

Dude gets out and starts putting on his suit jacket, same as me. Says good morning, as do I. Then I can't help myself. I say "That sure is a big compact vehicle." He laughs. He tells me that "If I park anywhere else in this garage I get dinged. I always get dinged. So I park here instead." Of course, this makes absolutely no sense, so I respond "Maybe your car gets hit because you park it in too small a spot." Dude has nothing to say to this because, you know, it makes sense. So instead he says: "You're trying to shame me! But I'm a lawyer, as are you, correct?" He goes on to tell me that lawyers have no shame, that trying to shame him is a waste of time, and that he in particular never is shamed. WOW. And he tells me this with a smile on his face, almost like a badge of honor.

The only thing I could choke out was "Well I must be in the wrong profession because its inhuman to never feel shame and I never intend to be like you."

The gall of people just amazes me. He was proud of himself. And you know what, I couldn't help it when I dinged his car. Bastard parked too close.

WTF

So I am not big into the Oscars, but I did have them on in the background last night while making dinner. I didn't see half of the movies nominated, including The Hurt Locker. TL saw it and said it was pretty good, I'm not really into that kind of movie. Didn't seem like there were very many laugh-my-ass-off moments.

So when they were presenting for Best Director I didn't pay much attention because I didn't see most of the movies (I was kind of rooting for Quentin Tarantino because I did love Inglorious Basterds, but no biggie). I kinda noticed that "the woman," Kathryn Bigelow won. I refer to her as thus since the only things we know about her are (1) she's a woman that directed, gasp, a war movie, and (2) she was married to Jim Cameron. So good for her, finally a woman won. Apparently it was the first time in Academy history. Not really a surprise since Hollywood is such a male dominated industry.

But when she was done giving her acceptance speech, that's when my ears piqued up. What song did I hear? Turned up the volume and.......that old classic "I Am Woman." That crap stopped me dead in my tracks. Are they *really* playing an old '70s "feminist" song right now? Wow.

Yup. They just reduced Ms. Bigelow's win into a cheesy ridiculous moment. I felt so sorry for the woman. Check it out here if you missed it, the Oscar orchestra is playing the Helen Reddy classic at the conclusion of her speech.

A Woman's Response

I didn't see much of the super bowl (I even missed The Who! Boo!) but I did see this stupid Dodge commercial. The point of the commercial is that grown men need to be rewarded for being....grownups. Its freaking ridiculous. Wow, you should really get a medal for being civil to my mother. Lord have mercy did this commercial annoy the crap out of me.

Today I was pleased to see a woman's response to the ad. It's brilliant.