Friday, March 14, 2008

Oh Crap, NOW's Revoking My Feminist Card











So in case you guys haven't heard, we've got a black guy and a woman running for President. And that's a bigger deal than any actual issue in the election--you're not supposed to make your decision based upon the candidates' records, demeanor, ability to preside, or, God forbid, the actual issues.

I admit I haven't been through too many elections--my first presidential election memory was visiting my democratic Grandma Violet in, I would estimate, 1984, during the Democratic National Convention. She had it on TV the entire visit, much to my dismay, and kept referring to Reagan as "my Father's buddy," which did not understand at the time.

My second memory of a presidential election is from 1996, when my friend Mandy and I ran a mock presidential election in our high school and studied the results for a social studies class. That was an awesome project. Ahhh, the memories.

I digress. The point is, maybe every election is like this to an extent--but never has the media had the fodder of both a WOMAN and a MINORITY as real contenders against EACH OTHER. The utter garbage that I have read as a result of this contest sickens me.

Apparently, you're not a real woman if you don't support Hillary. We, as women, will never know success and our own ability as females until we see Hillary being sworn in as President. Somehow, electing Hillary will break barriers, finally make women and men "equal," and will obliterate the glass ceiling.

I say that's a load of horsesh*t. I personally have no faith in the woman. What if she does a terrible job? Will women never have another shot at the big seat? What if she gets us into ANOTHER war? (No matter how much she tries to ignore it, she DID vote for going into Iraq--great judgment, lady). What about the fact that she's just more of the same crap that we've had for the last twenty years? Don't forget, people, if we elect her we will have had only two families running this country for TWENTY FOUR YEARS!

I'm supposed to vote for her just because she's a woman? Isn't that just as bad as a white man voting for a candidate just because he's a white man? Nay, isn't it worse, because we as women actually know what it's like for people to assume you do or do not have abilities based upon what type of reproductive system you've got? It MAKES NO SENSE.

I would absolutely love to have a woman as president. And although my senior high school year book does reflect that I would like to have been the first one, I really don't mind if someone else takes the reigns. Women make up 50% of this country--we're not minorities. But thrusting the first viable candidate into the post only because she's a woman misses the point.

I hate that people think women are not capable of things simply because they are women. Just ask Truman, he'll tell you I really really really really hate it. I believe that women are capable of anything, including going into combat, managing, leading, legislating, and ruling, but not every woman is capable of everything.

To be honest, one thing that really irks me about Hillary is that she is relying too much on being a woman. By being First Lady, she already has political experience. In fact, she has had at least one Freudian slip where she said "when I'm President again." I really think this lady thought that when Bill was elected, so was she. I'm sorry, but am I the only woman left with a bad taste in my mouth by a woman with little political experience using her husband's experience as a basis for elect ability?

Lets stick to the ISSUES, people! You know, like what color Hillary's suit was at the last debate, and did it make her look old? Or the fact that Obama is fun to say--I like to talk about Obamarama all the time. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Friday, February 29, 2008

My Secret Life

It's 4:20 (hehe, 420) on Friday afternoon and I'm at work, pretending to be productive. In reality, I've been perusing "cotton area rugs" on Overstock for hours. Above is the frontrunner right now.

Alternatively, I've been trying to create a floor on FLOR.com. You can buy carpet tiles and make your own rug! It's much harder than one would think--especially when you have no skillz, like me. But this is the idea:
This is the most exciting thing I've got going on right now. Lord have mercy the day needs to end soon. Are you feeling sorry for me yet???

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Most Important Thing About Japan? The Toilet Situation

Okay, so you guys know I went to Japan, that I'm back, and that I haven't posted anything at all about it.

My valid excuse is that once I returned I was swirled into a trial-frenzy by my boss and haven't had the chance to come up for air. The reality is that the trial-frenzy was over by Friday and I still haven't even organized my photos yet. Lazy. Ass.

The one thing that I have been dying to discuss in this forum where I can discuss whatever I want is the Japanese Toilet Situation.

The Japanese Toilet Situation ("JTS") is something I have brought up to most people who have inquired about my trip. These well-meaning individuals probably expect that I will wax poetic about the food, the countryside, the crazy-efficient Japanese people, but no. No, not me. I want to talk about toilets.

There are very few "normal" toilets in Japan, "normal" being the typical toilet in the U.S.
The JTS, and the reason why it facsinated me for the duration of the trip, was this. One bathroom, be it in a rest stop or in a fancy hotel, would have both of the following types of Toilets:



"Hole in the ground that Whitey doesn't quite know how to use," is how I describe this toilet. I had to ask Truman's Taiwanese cousin which way one was supposed to face when using this contraption. Mind you no one, not even those familiar with the JTS, wanted to use it.

The other JTS option is just as befuddling:


It's appropriately called a "shower toilet." Look at all of the buttons! What are they for? Let's take a closer look.


There are so many options!! You can have your back or your front washed. This was very confusing to me until I saw a button like the one above, which clearly shows a woman for the "front wash." You can also chose the water temperature, pressure, and duration. Some also have a blow dry option as well as nice fake flushing noises on demand for those times when you wish you were alone in that public restroom.

Someone in America needs to get working on getting this shit here. It's awesome! (Pun intended.)

Next topic: the Toilet Paper Situation ("TPS"). Better check it before you wreck it!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

This is what happens when it rains in LA


Behold the construction site on my street after four days of rain.

Now THIS is what a viable construction claim looks like. I desperately wanted to wade out there and put my business card on some Bobcats.

Sayonara!

Heading off to Nagoya, Japan, tomorrow to celebrate Chinese New Year with Truman's Taiwanese family. Geez, if only there were a Korean connection I could have fit all East Asian countries into one sentence. Sigh.

I am steeling myself to be gawked at as the gargantuan white girl roaming the countryside. I plan on hiding behind Truman's 18-year-old and 6' 1" cousin, Ted. I also envision some awkwardness with fitting under tiny Japanese tables and visiting the hot springs, which have two restriction: you cannot have any tattoos or clothing if you want to go in. Lord have Mercy.

Nagoya Castle is above. I can't wait to see it in person.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Am Not (Too) Ashamed

Long Live and Prosper. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Make it so. Khaannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Me at Star Trek: The Tour this weekend in Long Beach. Respect.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

U-G-L-Y


He ain't got no alibi, he's Ugly, yeah, he's Ugly.

Truman and I found this little guy running full boar down San Gabriel Boulevard last weekend. For those of you not familiar with LA, San Gabriel is the Chinese neighborhood literally full of unlicensed, fresh off the boat Chinese drivers. A scary place to drive, and even scarier place for a tiny Chihuahua.

So of course we picked him up and named him Wedge. He's the ugliest little dog ever, but very sweet. At least we thought so. Tycho wasn't so hot on him.


The look of distain on Tycho's face is clear. "Get this rat dog outta my house! He's laying in the middle of MY rug!" He managed to step on Wedge at least twice. My personal belief is that it was out of spite. Bastard.

In all honesty, I think Ty was just jealous because Wedgie ROCKED the staircase, unlike Tycho (see previous posts re same). Wedgie could run up and down twice in the time Tycho ambled downstairs carefully.



Poor Tycho just couldn't handle the competition, even when it was less than 1/10 his size (When we took them to the vet we also discovered Tycho's a fattie again--103!). Now Wedge is staying with Truman's sister until we find him a good home, which I think she has. Back to smothering Tycho, and just Tycho, with affection (but not with food, fat boy's on a diet). He deserves it, he's the cutest doggie in the world!