VICTORY!

Wow, look at the fancy legal picture I stole from another law firm's website. I totally need a gavel.

Guess who just won their first summary judgment motion today? (Not much of a guess, of course, but I'll give you a moment to ponder it...)

ME! Yes, the judge was SO completely convinced that he didn't even really ask for oral argument at the hearing. He just granted it based on the papers, which is unbelievably cool, just like me. Woo hoo!

For anyone wondering out there, summary judgment is basically me saying to the judge, "Hey Judge, this guy's got no case at all. I mean, it's so obvious he has no case that we don't even have to go to trial. Just take a look at this yahoo's crap and we can get it done right here and now, Judge, no need to waste any more of your time." Generally they're pretty hard to win, but I bitchslapped plaintiff up one side and down the other so many times in this case that I had all the proof I needed. Again, props to me. :)

Frankly the plaintiff's lawsuit completely sucked, which made it much easier to win than if I was actually up against a competent civil litigator, but what the hell. I take the victories where I can get them.

If I only didn't have to come back to the office after my awesome pummeling of plaintiff and work like a dog all day, it might have actually felt victorious. Ah, the life of a lawyer.