Thursday, December 18, 2008

Majel Barret Has Gone to Sto-Vo-Kor


I am truly saddened.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry passed away today. Majel was probably best known as Gene Roddenberry's (the creator of Star Trek) wife. Majel was the voice of the Enterprise's Computer from the original series all the way through the new and yet unreleased Star Trek set to come out next summer.

Majel caused controversy in the 1960s. She was originally Kirk's "Number One" in the pilot, only to be replaced by Spock when the network didn't like having a woman second in command of the Enterprise. I always thought it was awesome that before Spock there was Majel.

Majel was also Nurse Chapel in the Original Series, and Lwaxana Troi on TNG (The Next Generation) and Deep Space Nine. She was always trying to get herself some Jean Luc. Then some Odo. Clearly she had a thing for reserved men that were completely overwhelmed by her.

Majel has been part of Star Trek since its inception and it is without irony that I say that the world has lost a pioneer and a great woman.

We'll miss you, Majel. You and Gene look so cute together in that picture, I hope you're finally together again.

Oh and for your Trek purists, yes, I know that Lwaxana was Betazoid, not Klingon, but damn, give me a break. Lwaxana was a warrior in her own way and didn't take shit from no one, so that's enough to make her an honorary Klingon in my book.

Monday, November 10, 2008

No Promises, No Demands




On a lighter note than what's been thrown at you lately on this blog, I want everyone here to remember just how awesome music videos used to be. Frankly I don't even know if they really "make" videos anymore, but..... I'm afraid to finish that sentence as it will make me feel really old. :) Enjoy this classic. There are few songs that are as fun to sing along to.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Can Hear It


Just down the street from me they are protesting. I have goosebumps. I can hear the helicopters overhead. Citizens are protesting in front of the LSD (Goddamn Mormon) Temple in Los Angeles. If you're free and not stuck in an office with an oppressive conservative boss like me (Hi Mark!) go down there and give 'em some hell. I did symbolically flip off a ward that I passed on my way to work, but I sure would like to be down there giving them some hell!

Dark Clouds. But a possible silver lining.

The Goddamn Mormons won this round, but they ain't gonna win the war. They succeeded in lying and scaring California voters into taking away the rights of other Californians, but their success won't last. It won't last because the system of American Government, the Constitution, and the People won't let it last. It won't last because the U.S. Constitution does not allow discrimination, even if the Goddamn Mormons want our California Constitution to codify it. It won't last because Californians up and down the coast protested and made their voices heard last night that we won't stand for inequality and hate in our state. It won't last because Californians are already legally challenging an amendment to our Constitution which fundamentally changes rights of Californians.

I'm confident that one day we will succeed. We will succeed because it is not the right of Americans to take away the rights of other Americans. The Fourteenth Amendment guarantees that Americans are to be treated equally under the law. Equally.

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

California just amended its Constitution to specifically deny equal protection to gays. And what did we learn in during the Civil Rights Movement, specifically relating to segregation? Separate is inherently not equal.

I understand that Californians are working to challenge Prop 8 legally based upon other grounds (most notably that such a change to the Constitution cannot be effectuated by proposition), and we may be able to clean up our own mess, as California. But if we can't, its a whole other reason to be excited about Obama, because the U.S. Supreme Court should be poised to rule on gay marriage the exact same way they ruled on interracial marriage. America didn't collapse when blacks and whites (and all other races) could marry, and it won't collapse when gays can marry.

Whether you agree with gay marriage or not is completely irrelevant. Your personal morals are irrelevant. Your religion is irrelevant. Your opinion is irrelevant, as is mine. All that matters is that this is America, a place where people, more than anywhere else in the world, are supposed to be free and equal. And our Constitution guarantees those rights. It guarantees that all Americans are to be treated equally. So the Goddamn Mormon hate doesn't really matter. Equality will be vindicated eventually. And those who fought against that equality will hopefully be remembered as the divisive hatemongers that they are. And those self-righteous people who hide behind religion to promote hate will get their payback when they find out that God don't discriminate and loves gays and straights just the same. But FYI to the Goddamn Mormons: God hates hypocrites. So stop your bullshit hypocracy about the "sanctity of marriage" while you are marrying three or four women (underage) at a time. You will get your due.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Despicable.

Those that feel they must stop California from offering equal protection under the law to its citizens have taken an interesting new approach to fundraising.

This letter
is being sent to some major donors to the NO on Prop 8 campaign. Basically, it says that these donors should donate an equal amount of money to the YES on Prop 8 campaign or else "it is a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage."

That's actually what it says.

If you oppose Prop 8, you oppose traditional marriage. So I guess when I go and vote NO on Prop 8 next month, I must OPPOSE traditional marriage.

I guess I didn't realize that Prop 8 somehow invalidates marriages between men and women.

Or that allowing gay marriage will somehow lead to man/sheep marriage in the near future, like this idiot seems to think. (On a related note, the idiot that runs the man/sheep site has refused to publish any of my comments at all. No obscenity was included or anything else inappropriate, he just can't have any differing opinions on his blog.) But let me just take this opportunity to say that if he hates gay marriage that much, he must be gay. Ted Haggard much?

Maybe its a good sign that the Yes on Prop 8 people are getting this desperate. They can't honestly believe that someone who had enough conviction to donate $10k to the NO campaign would turn around and undo the good that they did.

But did Yes on Prop 8 realize the potential backlash? They're just giving me a reason to donate and campaign for the other side.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Screw the Evil Mormons. Vote NO on Proposition 8!!!!!!!

Californians, we have a huge problem, and they are called the Mormons. Goddamn Mormons. Yeah, I said it. Screw you, Mormons, I've been on the path to hell since I rejected your "gospel" back in 1996. I'm well-stewed in heathen at this point. No going back.

Well, the Goddamn Mormons are trying to take away the fundamental rights of Californians to marry. The Goddamn Mormons have put more money into the "Yes on Prop 8" (no on equality) than anyone else, and they are winning because of it.

People, we have to fight the Goddamn Mormons. If we let them have their way, soon they will outlaw coffee. Tea. Shorts and sleeveless shirts (for women). Swearing. Alcohol. Fun. You think I'm kidding?????? Get thee to Utah and find out for yourself.

The point is, its not up to the Goddamn Mormons to decide which Californians can get married and which can't. And it shouldn't be up to us, the voters, either. Who are we to deny adult, human Americans rights? What happened to the land of the free? Fundamental rights? Not being oppressed by another's religion? Oh that's right, that's the one the crazies want us to forget about. If we ain't born again we must be terrorists.

This whole gay marriage thing is interracial marriage for the 2000s. Legally, its the exact same arguments that came up and the same equal protection and fundamental rights issues that the Supreme Court decided in Loving v. Virginia, where it ruled that laws outlawing interracial marriage were illegal. Why? Because THE GOVERNMENT HAS NO BUSINESS TELLING CONSENTING ADULTS WHO(m?) THEY CAN AND CANNOT MARRY!

Let's take care of a few misconceptions about keeping gay marriage in California legal:

Letting the CA supreme court decision stand will not make us all gay.

It will not make heterosexual men marry other men.

It will not make churches that oppose gay marriage conduct homosexual weddings.

It will not remove the tax exempt status from churches that do not conduct homosexual weddings.

It will not make your kids gay.

It will not make your kids learn about gay marriage.

It will not make teachers teach their students that gay marriage is good, or okay, or something they should aspire to.

Now let's look at what keeping gay marriage legal in California will do:

It will allow adult, consenting, same-sex couples to marry.

It will allow homosexual couples to obtain benefits for their spouses.

It will allow homosexual couples to safely bequeath their assets to each other in their wills (which are often contested currently by greedy family members trying to screw the gay partner that doesn't have legal standing).

It will allow homosexual couples the peace and security that heterosexual couples have enjoyed for years.

The Mormon agenda is a scary one. They are strong in California and they have a crapload of money. There is NO GOOD REASON TO VOTE FOR PROP 8 other than to deny other Americans rights.

Support what America REALLY STANDS FOR: EQUALITY AND FREEDOM. Otherwise, we're no better than Al Qaeda, stifling people's rights, putting forth radical religious agenda, and snarling at anyone who gets in our way.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

This Looks Promising

I'll be the first to admit that I am skeptical of the new Trek movie. Prequels have a history of sucking hard core. I assume there is no need to make allusions to other movie empires with "Star" in the title.

J.J. finally let us see something other than glimpses of the Enterprise. A nice consolation prize for the fact that the movie was pushed back six months? Here are some of the pictures that were finally released.

Dude. This actually looks kinda cool. Uhura's hot. Bones looks like Bones (annoyed). The dude's hair on the left is annoying the hell out of me. Is he supposed to be Chekov? Ug. Chekov was always kind of a dweeb.




Um, this looks like Spock going all Sylar on Kirk's ass. (Take away the uniform and the eyebrows and thats a total Sylar "I'm going to remove part of your brain" look. No?) Maybe some trouble with his human emotions as a youth?



I believe that this is Eric Bana all done up as the bad guy. He does not look like Eric Bana. He looks very bad ass. However, he does not look particularly Romulan. I see the points and the eyebrows, but still, not very Romulan. I am intrigued. I am hoping we are not diving into Nemesis territory here.



All in all, I have hope. You better come through, J.J. Abrams! The entire geekaverse is depending on you!!

Have I geeked out hardcore enough for all of you? I am feeling good! Live long and prosper, bitches!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Geek Humor

uncle owen charred

Honestly, knowing Lucas' propensity for selling anything and everything possible with "Star Wars" plastered on it to his faithful fanboys and fangirls, I gave serious thought as to whether or not this was the real deal.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Walter Sobchak is My Hero

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!


Emily's Current Top Ten Favorite Movies In No Particular Order:

1. harold and maude

2. 9 to 5

3. the incredibles

4. ladyhawke

5. the freshman (what can I say, Matthew Broderick made some good ones in the 80s)

6. high fidelity

7. the big lebowski

8. the royal tennenbaums

9. super troopers

10. indiana jones and the last crusade

Another Reason to Love Nathan Fillion

Monday, October 6, 2008

Lamest. Mascot. Ever.

I got an invitation to attend a Whittier College football game over the weekend. As the law school and the college are on separate campuses in separate cities, I had never even known that Whittier had a football team, let alone stepped foot on the campus. And it's a good thing I didn't know any better, because finding out my alma mater's mascot was like a kick in the gonads (if I had them, I think that's what it would be like).

Behold the travesty:


The F'ing POETS???? What the hell? I cannot think of anything weaker and more easily crushed than a poet. The Whittier Poets? It makes me cringe when I say it. Poets? Really?

So I looked into it on Wiki. Turns out the school used to be Quaker and was named after a Quaker poet John Greenleaf Whittier. When the Quakers founded the school they decided that "Johnny Poet" would be their mascot. (God is that lame. I'm from Pennsylvania, we got plenty of Quaker history and no sissy-ass Poet mascots. In fact, I guarantee in Pennsylvania you and your whole school would be beat down in about two seconds if your football team, the Poets, came to town).

Well I looked up ol' Greenleaf, and he wasn't only a poet! He was an abolitionist (The Whittier Abolitionists!), an editor (The Whittier Editors!), an essayist (The Whittier Essayists!), all of which sound much stronger and better for a football team than the Poets. They could have even gone with the vanilla "Quakers." I know it has religious connotations, but at least it sounds like you're shaking things up!

When I looked at other school mascots, the only one lamer than Whittier was Evergreen State. Their mascot? A geoduck. What's a geoduck, you may ask???? Why, this is a geoduck:





Yeah. The grossest looking clam you ever seen. So gross that its body is running away from its shell. This is not something to be proud of, Whittier. We gotta do better. I personally like Idaho's mascot: the Vandals. Its nice, and it has connections to 80s punk. What could be better?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Pedestrian Rage


So I almost killed a woman last night. Why, you may ask, would a sweet and delicate flower such as you, Emily, do such an uncharacteristically violent thing? (Stop that! I can hear you laughing. I am a delicate flower).

Cuz bitch almost ran me over.

I was minding my own business, walking down the street in Santa Monica.... Ahh, but there in lies the problem. Who dares walk in Santa Monica? Don't I have a fancy car in the garage so I can drive it everywhere so people can see me in it? Maybe she didn't care because she figured I must be poor if I was walking. But I digress.

I attempted to cross the street, when I had the right to do so, when I had "the walking man" symbol giving me the a-okay. But this lady never even turned her head toward me, she just popped a right with not a care in the world.

She came about two inches from taking out my left leg. I had to contort my body and pretty much fall on the hood of her car to avoid getting hit. I screamed some obscenities, slammed my hand down on her hood really super hard to scare her, and told her to watch where the hell she was going. She mumbled something through her half-open window that she was sorry. Then she sped off.

I was about this close to opening her door, hauling her out of her car, and beating the everloving crap out of her. The lawyer in me cried restraint. In retrospect, I wish I had popped her one. Or two. Or maybe just tried to run her over to see how she likes it.

See, I AM a delicate little flower. If you don't agree, I'll pop you too. Jerk.

Monday, September 22, 2008

VICTORY!


Wow, look at the fancy legal picture I stole from another law firm's website. I totally need a gavel.

Guess who just won their first summary judgment motion today? (Not much of a guess, of course, but I'll give you a moment to ponder it...)

ME! Yes, the judge was SO completely convinced that he didn't even really ask for oral argument at the hearing. He just granted it based on the papers, which is unbelievably cool, just like me. Woo hoo!

For anyone wondering out there, summary judgment is basically me saying to the judge, "Hey Judge, this guy's got no case at all. I mean, it's so obvious he has no case that we don't even have to go to trial. Just take a look at this yahoo's crap and we can get it done right here and now, Judge, no need to waste any more of your time." Generally they're pretty hard to win, but I bitchslapped plaintiff up one side and down the other so many times in this case that I had all the proof I needed. Again, props to me. :)

Frankly the plaintiff's lawsuit completely sucked, which made it much easier to win than if I was actually up against a competent civil litigator, but what the hell. I take the victories where I can get them.

If I only didn't have to come back to the office after my awesome pummeling of plaintiff and work like a dog all day, it might have actually felt victorious. Ah, the life of a lawyer.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Swoon

I've been getting wayyyy too political around these parts lately. Let's talk about something we can all agree on. Isn't Christian Bale dreamy?



Wait....here's a little scruffier picture for you.



I think I came to the realization that I had a problem when I saw Dark Knight on Saturday night and then on Sunday watched parts of (1) Batman Begins, (2) Reign of Fire, and (3) Laurel Canyon. Lord have mercy. Whew. And don't be judgmental people! I did a ton of crap on Saturday, okay? I deserved some damned TV time on Sunday. It's the day of rest for God's sake. Anyway, you know you can't argue with me. Go wipe the drool off of your keyboard.

Gulf of Tonkin for the 21st Century

I went searching on Google Images for "anthrax" with hopes that I'd get an image of something cool like Paris Hilton or something, but instead I just got really gross pictures of open wounds (which I guess is what we're talking about here), and photos of the band Anthrax. So I was going to post a picture of the band, not the wounds, cuz it's funnier (and what's not funny? chemical weapons!) and less scary. Was not meant to be today, Blogger's pissed at me that I haven't posted in months and so this one's image free, folks.

So the dude that was suspected of perpetrating those "anthrax attacks" right after 9/11 just killed himself. Apparently if he did do it, which of course is speculation, it would basically mean that people from our own government, with access to anthrax, sent letters laced with anthrax to Congress and media in order to start a war! Check THIS out to get the story. God forbid we learn from our own mistakes. How un-American! And have you noticed when we start these nifty wars that they don't seem to work out the way we planned? (cough, Vietnam, cough).

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Another Bush

I have little hope for McCain. Not that I had alot to begin with, but he just keeps getting worse and worse.

Although he stated several times that he does not believe in unwarranted wire tapping, he has now done (another) 180 and stated that the Executive should have the ability to spy on Americans "in a time of war."

Same crap as Bush. Constitution? What Constitution? (As a side note, I must point out that this is not a Democrat/Republican issue. Our Senator, the lovely Dianne Feinstein, voted for the warrantless surveillance bill, FISA, too. When I wrote her to say how disappointed I was that she gave away our civil liberties, I received a reply that because I was a simple citizen and didn't know what the Senator knew from our military, that I was just wrong. Bitch.)

Listen, asshats, if you have a reason to spy on Americans, a judge will issue a warrant. If you don't have a reason to be spying on Americans...well....that's we have the Fourth Amendment! And they wonder why membership with the ACLU has doubled since Bush became President.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Screw the Will of the People

Just when I thought we had a win, it turns out the stupid people of California are going to get the chance to vote on it.


The Secretary of State of California just announced that the issue of gay marriage will be on the ballot in November. This comes on the heels of the California Supreme Court finding that banning gay marriage violates the right to marry and the Constitution's guaranty of equal protection under the law.

Apparently polls show that California voters will narrowly approve the initiative to amend the California constitution to define marriage as an institution between a man and a woman in order to get around the Supreme Court's ruling. Who in God's name cares so much about screwing a small part of the population out of a fundamental right? In most cases I'm all for the voice of the people, but frankly it's none of their damn business whether their neighbor marries a man or a woman. Equal rights has got to win on this one, it's our only hope.

Hurry up already, U.S. Supreme Court! You are now the only ones that can save us from ourselves! I mean, I know it took you until the 21st century to find that gayness itself is not illegal, but damn, California's making it easy for you! They did this back in the day with interracial marriage, and in 10 years you followed suit. Please don't take so long this time. It's an easy one. Equal rights. Equal protection. Who are you to say who can and can't get married? Are the straights really doing such a great job with it? I mean, Jesus, we let Britney and K-Fed get married and procreate. Twice. Sheesh.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Finally!

I have been waiting YEARS for a thunderstorm in this place devoid of all weather, Los Angeles.

When I heard the first clap of thunder I thought my ears were deceiving me, or that perhaps my brain had finally just given up and moved back to Florida, where the ONLY good thing was the kick-ass thunderstorms we had every day in the summer (minus the spike in humidity that followed to accompany the 105+ degree heat). But it's an actual thunderstorm. Ten years ago I would have laughed my ass off at someone writing about some freaking rain and thunder, but lemme tell you, the West has made me actually miss things like clouds and thunder and snow and all that good stuff.

Oh, and it's starting to rain. Big drops, too, none of the drizzle the losers around here normally consider rain. And it's rush hour. The chaos. I have already heard wayyyy more sirens than normal for a Thursday afternoon on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Good God am I easily pleased. Everyone in my office thinks I'm crazy because I'm excited about some damn thunder.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Ise Temple

Ise Temple is the main temple historically utilized by the Emperor of Japan and the imperial family. It is still used today for events like royal weddings. Apparently the shrine itself as well as the bridge are rebuilt ever 20 years as has been done for the past 2000 years.


This is the entrance to the Temple. The long bridge goes over a river and leads to the Temple grounds, which were extensive and included many ponds, structures, and beautiful forest.


The view from the bridge entering the Temple grounds. The entire riverbank is lined with rocks. Throughout Japan it is interesting to note how the Japanese seek to control and tame nature to do their bidding and how they do it in an effective and ascetically pleasing way.




On the other side of the bridge is a place for the ritual purification of oneself before entering the temple. Lord have mercy that water was straight from the river and freezing cold.



The entrance to a temple building. Note that only the royal family and priests can enter the temple--not even Japanese citizens are allowed to go inside. They actually had an imperial guard standing at the actual temple ensuring that no one took photos.


Another temple building, but not the actual temple.



Some kind of Shinto prayer wheels. Truman and I thought immediately of the Golden Child. Eddie Murphy scratching the wheel like its a turntable and he's a DJ. Good times.




Royal Shinto chickens. There were some with beautiful plumage, but all other chicken pictures were way fuzzy.

Monday, March 31, 2008

This Lady and Her Shamrock Scarf Are Crazy

So, you know how Hillary was practically shot down in Bosnia during her amazing "this shows my foreign policy experience" trip as First Lady back in the early 90s? And everybody (and when I say everybody I mean even Sinbad, yes, that Sinbad) called bull on her story of sniper fire and peril?

Well people, apparently she was telling the truth. Behold:

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Not Enough Time in A Day!


For me to actually, you know, WORK at work, and for me to do all of the requisite analyzation and comparison required to vote for FUG MADNESS 2008!

Bai Ling v. Kelly Clarkson!

Sienna Miller v. Kate Moss!

Posh Beckham v. Joss Stone!

Juliette Lewis v. Juliette Lewis!


Damn, she's hot.

Fug Madness is totally addictive. I now know what it's like for my male co-workers during their stupid March Madness BS. However, Fug Madness is even BETTER than March Madness b because you can vote for who advances! Check out some of these contenders:

The bodysuits! The gloves!


The hats!


The. . .diapers?

Honestly I think I'd be happy if any of those lovely ladies shown above win, but my heart belongs to Juliette.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Food in Japan

Food in Japan is, first and foremost, GOOD. I thoroughly enjoyed each meal I had there, from beef to duck to seafood, from raw to cooked.

As Japanese department stores as just as cool as you imagine them to be, apparently most of them have grocery stores/markets on the bottom floor. Generally one half was a grocery store where you could buy produce, meat, and fish as well as boxed and canned goods like rice or cereal. So, I went about basically acting like what we in America would call a "Japanese Tourist," and took photos all over their grocery store.

Behold: Wasabi in its natural form:


Behold: a "musk melon" (which I must confess I thought was a cantaloupe) for approximately $150! That better be one hell of a melon!


The market in the department store may not be where most Japanese shop on a regular basis, but it sure was a feast for the eyes. The other half of the market consisted of vendors selling prepared foods from small kiosks. You can find anything including chocolate, yakitori, katsu, sushi, sandwiches, dumplings, ice cream, salads and even Italian paninis. We bought a little from many different shops to take with us on the bullet train to Nagoya. Interesting note: Japanese do not eat while walking.

Probably the most extravagant meal we had on the trip was Chinese New Year's Eve Dinner. We all assembled in a private dining room in our hotel in our fashionable Japanese robes, called yukatas, for dinner. Yes, we all matched--photos will be posted.

The set dinner menu was written down on the small menu you can see in the bottom left corner of the picture. The dinner included a hot pot (the metal bowl on the left--it is atop a small grill with charcoal underneath), tempura, sushi, and a bunch of stuff that I have no idea what it was, but it sure was good. Check out that spread!


Another aspect of Japanese cuisine, which to some extent holds for much of Asian cuisine, is that Asians like to cook the food themselves. I think it has something to do with the fact that they appreciate food that is so burning hot that it will remove tastebuds from a typical Whitey's tongue.


One night near Lake Biwa (the name of the town currently excapes me) we feasted on duck hot pots, which were basically big hot pots of broth, with vegetables, in which we boiled big fatty pieces of duck for our eating delight.

Another example is to the right, where we had Mitsusaka beef (forgive me for the probable misspelling of Mitsusaka). Rosie is flipping meat on the grill and Truman is telling her she's doing it wrong. :)

The beef is special, the equivalent of Kobe beef. It was magically tender. It melted in my mouth. It was such good beef that we were actually served with beef sashimi which is--you guessed it--raw slices of beef. The owners of the restaurant owned the farm where the cows were raised, and also owned the brewery of the beer which we had with dinner and which the cows enjoyed before they were slaughtered. No, really. If you don't believe me, look up why Japanese beef is so good and so expensive.


Go to Japan. Eat the food. Eat all of it. Don't ask what it is. You will be happy.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Oh Crap, NOW's Revoking My Feminist Card











So in case you guys haven't heard, we've got a black guy and a woman running for President. And that's a bigger deal than any actual issue in the election--you're not supposed to make your decision based upon the candidates' records, demeanor, ability to preside, or, God forbid, the actual issues.

I admit I haven't been through too many elections--my first presidential election memory was visiting my democratic Grandma Violet in, I would estimate, 1984, during the Democratic National Convention. She had it on TV the entire visit, much to my dismay, and kept referring to Reagan as "my Father's buddy," which did not understand at the time.

My second memory of a presidential election is from 1996, when my friend Mandy and I ran a mock presidential election in our high school and studied the results for a social studies class. That was an awesome project. Ahhh, the memories.

I digress. The point is, maybe every election is like this to an extent--but never has the media had the fodder of both a WOMAN and a MINORITY as real contenders against EACH OTHER. The utter garbage that I have read as a result of this contest sickens me.

Apparently, you're not a real woman if you don't support Hillary. We, as women, will never know success and our own ability as females until we see Hillary being sworn in as President. Somehow, electing Hillary will break barriers, finally make women and men "equal," and will obliterate the glass ceiling.

I say that's a load of horsesh*t. I personally have no faith in the woman. What if she does a terrible job? Will women never have another shot at the big seat? What if she gets us into ANOTHER war? (No matter how much she tries to ignore it, she DID vote for going into Iraq--great judgment, lady). What about the fact that she's just more of the same crap that we've had for the last twenty years? Don't forget, people, if we elect her we will have had only two families running this country for TWENTY FOUR YEARS!

I'm supposed to vote for her just because she's a woman? Isn't that just as bad as a white man voting for a candidate just because he's a white man? Nay, isn't it worse, because we as women actually know what it's like for people to assume you do or do not have abilities based upon what type of reproductive system you've got? It MAKES NO SENSE.

I would absolutely love to have a woman as president. And although my senior high school year book does reflect that I would like to have been the first one, I really don't mind if someone else takes the reigns. Women make up 50% of this country--we're not minorities. But thrusting the first viable candidate into the post only because she's a woman misses the point.

I hate that people think women are not capable of things simply because they are women. Just ask Truman, he'll tell you I really really really really hate it. I believe that women are capable of anything, including going into combat, managing, leading, legislating, and ruling, but not every woman is capable of everything.

To be honest, one thing that really irks me about Hillary is that she is relying too much on being a woman. By being First Lady, she already has political experience. In fact, she has had at least one Freudian slip where she said "when I'm President again." I really think this lady thought that when Bill was elected, so was she. I'm sorry, but am I the only woman left with a bad taste in my mouth by a woman with little political experience using her husband's experience as a basis for elect ability?

Lets stick to the ISSUES, people! You know, like what color Hillary's suit was at the last debate, and did it make her look old? Or the fact that Obama is fun to say--I like to talk about Obamarama all the time. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Friday, February 29, 2008

My Secret Life

It's 4:20 (hehe, 420) on Friday afternoon and I'm at work, pretending to be productive. In reality, I've been perusing "cotton area rugs" on Overstock for hours. Above is the frontrunner right now.

Alternatively, I've been trying to create a floor on FLOR.com. You can buy carpet tiles and make your own rug! It's much harder than one would think--especially when you have no skillz, like me. But this is the idea:
This is the most exciting thing I've got going on right now. Lord have mercy the day needs to end soon. Are you feeling sorry for me yet???

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Most Important Thing About Japan? The Toilet Situation

Okay, so you guys know I went to Japan, that I'm back, and that I haven't posted anything at all about it.

My valid excuse is that once I returned I was swirled into a trial-frenzy by my boss and haven't had the chance to come up for air. The reality is that the trial-frenzy was over by Friday and I still haven't even organized my photos yet. Lazy. Ass.

The one thing that I have been dying to discuss in this forum where I can discuss whatever I want is the Japanese Toilet Situation.

The Japanese Toilet Situation ("JTS") is something I have brought up to most people who have inquired about my trip. These well-meaning individuals probably expect that I will wax poetic about the food, the countryside, the crazy-efficient Japanese people, but no. No, not me. I want to talk about toilets.

There are very few "normal" toilets in Japan, "normal" being the typical toilet in the U.S.
The JTS, and the reason why it facsinated me for the duration of the trip, was this. One bathroom, be it in a rest stop or in a fancy hotel, would have both of the following types of Toilets:



"Hole in the ground that Whitey doesn't quite know how to use," is how I describe this toilet. I had to ask Truman's Taiwanese cousin which way one was supposed to face when using this contraption. Mind you no one, not even those familiar with the JTS, wanted to use it.

The other JTS option is just as befuddling:


It's appropriately called a "shower toilet." Look at all of the buttons! What are they for? Let's take a closer look.


There are so many options!! You can have your back or your front washed. This was very confusing to me until I saw a button like the one above, which clearly shows a woman for the "front wash." You can also chose the water temperature, pressure, and duration. Some also have a blow dry option as well as nice fake flushing noises on demand for those times when you wish you were alone in that public restroom.

Someone in America needs to get working on getting this shit here. It's awesome! (Pun intended.)

Next topic: the Toilet Paper Situation ("TPS"). Better check it before you wreck it!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

This is what happens when it rains in LA


Behold the construction site on my street after four days of rain.

Now THIS is what a viable construction claim looks like. I desperately wanted to wade out there and put my business card on some Bobcats.

Sayonara!

Heading off to Nagoya, Japan, tomorrow to celebrate Chinese New Year with Truman's Taiwanese family. Geez, if only there were a Korean connection I could have fit all East Asian countries into one sentence. Sigh.

I am steeling myself to be gawked at as the gargantuan white girl roaming the countryside. I plan on hiding behind Truman's 18-year-old and 6' 1" cousin, Ted. I also envision some awkwardness with fitting under tiny Japanese tables and visiting the hot springs, which have two restriction: you cannot have any tattoos or clothing if you want to go in. Lord have Mercy.

Nagoya Castle is above. I can't wait to see it in person.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Am Not (Too) Ashamed

Long Live and Prosper. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Make it so. Khaannnnnnnnnnnnn!

Me at Star Trek: The Tour this weekend in Long Beach. Respect.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

U-G-L-Y


He ain't got no alibi, he's Ugly, yeah, he's Ugly.

Truman and I found this little guy running full boar down San Gabriel Boulevard last weekend. For those of you not familiar with LA, San Gabriel is the Chinese neighborhood literally full of unlicensed, fresh off the boat Chinese drivers. A scary place to drive, and even scarier place for a tiny Chihuahua.

So of course we picked him up and named him Wedge. He's the ugliest little dog ever, but very sweet. At least we thought so. Tycho wasn't so hot on him.


The look of distain on Tycho's face is clear. "Get this rat dog outta my house! He's laying in the middle of MY rug!" He managed to step on Wedge at least twice. My personal belief is that it was out of spite. Bastard.

In all honesty, I think Ty was just jealous because Wedgie ROCKED the staircase, unlike Tycho (see previous posts re same). Wedgie could run up and down twice in the time Tycho ambled downstairs carefully.



Poor Tycho just couldn't handle the competition, even when it was less than 1/10 his size (When we took them to the vet we also discovered Tycho's a fattie again--103!). Now Wedge is staying with Truman's sister until we find him a good home, which I think she has. Back to smothering Tycho, and just Tycho, with affection (but not with food, fat boy's on a diet). He deserves it, he's the cutest doggie in the world!