Tycho's Got Problems

So, Tycho the dog has developed a fear of the stairs in our home. He'll go up but he won't come back down. Let's delve into his mind:

"I'm bored of sleeping and playing and living my tough life as a dog. Yawn. I think I want to go downstairs and harass my owners. Oh damn, the stairs. These things scare me."

"That's a long ways down! What if I slip? (Whines.) Lemme just try this first step....nope! No no no, not doing it. (Whine.) I wanna go downstairs! How did I get up here in the first place? Oh, that's right. I'm an idiot. (Whine. Bark. Whine.)"

"Hmmm, instead of walking down the stairs like a normal dog, I think I'll make my owner carry my plus-90-pound ass down the stairs. This is a little uncomfortable for both of us. I always seem to forget just how much I hate being picked up when I'm marching my way UP the stairs."

"My owners are Nazis! They blocked me! And what major roadblock would it take to deter a huge Labrador like me from climbing the stairs, you ask? A rolled up yoga mat. I tried to get past it once. (Whine.) No baby gates needed for this badass."