The Sun Tan

I remember at summer camp one year being made fun of by some other campers for having a "farmer's tan." I had tan lines on my arms from wearing short sleeves and on my legs from shorts. Until those kids made fun of me, I had never been aware that a "proper" tan was devoid of lines--that is unless they came from a swimsuit (lets ignore the fake bake orange people running around these days).

Ever since then I've always been conscious of my farmer's tan. I've never had what most consider a proper tan, except in my early years when the entire summer was spent at the pool. These days If I get a tan its from hiking or biking or washing the car, so likely there lines on my feet from shoe straps, lines on my arms, and the like. I'm way past the point of caring. I'm currently sporting a wicked farmer's tan.

But the revelation I had last night, and I'm sure to most of you this is nothing new, is that the tan is a total status thing. Those kids, whether they knew it or not, where making fun of my farmer's tan, because I had not acquired it properly, i.e. laying out in the sun and doing absolutely nothing but tanning. A farmer's tan is theoretically not as good as a proper tan because it was acquired while working or actually doing something. The value is placed on having the ability to do nothing but literally lie on your ass and bake.

That being said, in many other cultures the importance is on staying as white as humanly possible. The tan is associated with work. Pristine porcelain white skin is associated with privilege and being able to stay out of the sun. Darker skin=lower class. Ever see those Asian ladies driving on the road wearing welder-type masks to keep the sun off their faces? But generally speaking in America the tan is something that is sought in the summer, even with the risks associated with it these days.

So I say if you don't have some kind of farmer's tan in the summer, you got too damn much time on your hands. Get out there and do something, you lazy rich bastard.